Today, I had to complete an assignment where I had to disconnect from everything and just watch: specifically, watch the people around me and how they interact. I was looking for their communication styles, nonverbals, etc. This exercise left me with two feelings. The first, I felt like a creep. One of the groups I spied on was a small trio of doctors and I think that they noticed my frequent glances. The latter feeling, however, was a little more positive: one of accomplishment. For the last decade, I’ve been addicted to a show called Criminal Minds, one where FBI Profilers utilize everything from verbals, to nonverbals, to objects and habits to profile people and the offender. Through this exercise, I felt like a profiler: analyzing others with the smallest of details and trying to piece it together to figure out how they felt about each other, the topics they shared and the situation as a whole.
I started this exercise as seeing it as a perfect excuse to get Panera. I grabbed my food, found a seat in a corner where I had a few groups in view, then started documenting the assorted groups of people around me. I first wrote down what groups were where in relation to me, what the general demographics of each group were (with crude distinguishing factors occasionally), and what technology was openly visible with each person.
The first group: to the front and left of me was a small group of doctors, one white male, one black male and one white female. The two males sat on one side of the table and the female on the other. The majority of the conversation was run by the white male, with the black male usually responding a fair amount and the white female responding a little. The two males would laugh at jokes together while the female wouldn’t join. The white male had an open stance, the black male had his arms guarded in front of him, and the white female had her arms crossed in front of her as well. The two men would joke a lot, commonly with hand gestures, and the female would be on her phone a lot. Both the white male and white female had a computer open in front of them and to the side but each only used it a bit. When they left, they left ‘at the same time’, with the female taking the lead and walking a few steps ahead of the guys, followed by the white man letting the black male pass him so the white male could go last and hold up the rear. Due to this collection of information, I was able to assume that the white male has an alpha personality. He initiated most of the conversation, had the most comfortable stance, laughed heartily at most things he said yet at only a few of the jokes from the others, and was sure to walk last when everyone left (to keep an eye on everyone, either as a controlling or protective manner). The black male was the middle personality. His guarded stance yet frequent contribution to the conversation and ease of laughter leads me to assume that he was either around people that he wasn’t yet comfortable with but was trying to be, he was mildly uncomfortable with the conversation topic, etc. Lastly, I would assume that the female either has a submissive personality or wasn’t very comfortable with her company due to her guarded stance, occasional contribution to the conversation, frequent activity on her phone, and eagerness to leave first and quickly once they got up.
The second group: two white males, one balding and the other with red hair. They sat on opposite sides of the table so they could face each other. The redhead had a computer open and to the side, as well as a notebook and a pen in front of him. They seemed to be having a more serious conversation, potentially even a casual interview based on their positions and business casual dress. Most of the time when the balding guy talked, the redhead would stare at him, hands folded in his nap, nodding and giving occasional words of affirmation. One time though, he stared down at the notebook and scribbled while the balding guy talked and looked off to the side. I’m assuming from this intentional lack of eye contact that it was either a personal story or uncomfortable information being shared. They eventually got up and left together.
The last group: I didn’t know that this was a group until I later inquired. To my left was a female staring a computer screen doing homework with her computer in front of her. I assumed she was here alone until she eventually talked to the guy next to her, on the other side of the corner next to her. I then assumed that maybe she had lightly known him and just met him that day since he was charging his phone at the outlet between her and I (something I asked about and found out when I sat down). So, I assumed he had asked her, a random stranger, to plug in his phone. Then, he later started talking ot her since he had just finished an awkward 2 minute conversation with another girl that walked by- prompting him to turn and whisper his distresses to the stranger next to him that he mildly knew. I figured they might know each other a little though since, when they talked, she turned fully toward him to engage in the conversation. I still wasn’t sure, however, since they were on opposite sides of a corner and had a backpack between them, possible adding a barrier between strangers. Since he was around the corner, I wasn’t able to read his nonverbals to help decipher their relationship. Eventually, when she got up to leave I was curious. So, I explained my project and asked her if she did know him or if they were strangers. She laughed and explained that they did know each other, and that he sat around the corner because he was ‘weird and gets distracted easily’.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this exercise. It was interesting to watch the world and people around me: utilizing small clues about their communications guess their personalities and relationships ot one another. In the end, it was enjoyable to do and I am excited to apply it to my own friend group soon.