In The Story of My Body Judith Ortiz Cofer takes us through a timeline of events between her, her body, and society, and how those events subsequently affected the story she believed about herself. Ortiz Cofer, like many of us, had an idea of what beauty was from early age, but she also had an idea of what it wasn’t. Ortiz Cofer picked apart her height, the scars of her face, her stick skinny legs, thin frame, and small bones, the color of her skin, her fingernails, her lack athletic ability, her excess of academic ability, the ways boys didn’t seem to desire her like they did other girls, and her ethnicity, to name a few. This seems like a lot to pick apart about yourself, but I think we all do something similar to this. Maybe it’s so ingrained in many of us that we fail to recognize it when we are doing it.
Body image has been a big topic of discussion in recent years, but I believe that this has been for good reason. Body Image is how you think about yourself, perceive yourself, and the attitude that you have about your physical appearance (NEDA.org, 2018). A negative body image can increase risk for suffering from depression, eating disorders, and feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-consciousness. A lot of this self-consciousness comes from the unrealistic body and beauty ideals that we, I think mostly women, are still held to and marketing is geared towards.
The perfect woman is slim, but only in all the right places, she wears makeup, but not too much as she shouldn’t want to be a cake face, and almost all makeup and skin care is marketed towards women. She is smart, but not too smart because then she becomes a know it all and called cold in the workplace. I’m not saying that standards don’t exist for men, but I am saying no one is talking about how great a mom bod is.
I think that this can relate to last week’s de Beauvoir reading and week one’s video from Adiche on power. As women, we have accepted this idea that we must fit the societal norm that has been determined for us. As a whole we are the other, and we allow it to dictate how we feel about ourselves, which we can see Judith Ortiz Cofer doing throughout the stages of her life. Adiche’s definition of power, “the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person” (TED, 2009) fits this narrative too. We are born unquestioning the story that these standards are how normal women behave.
A question I often ask myself is will I still care about being the skinniest, most toned person I can be when I am in my 50s? 60s? 70s? Will I still force myself to do intense workouts I don’t like and eat salads I barely enjoy or smoothies with gross health ingredients? Will I be able to enjoy a decadent meal without any guilt at all? Will I love the scars and marks that I acquire through my life experiences? Will I wear what I want, and not decide it was cute based on the compliments I get? I hope so. I think it’s important that we ask ourselves what is holding us back, and if we could imagine a life without that.
I also want to address that I did focus on the double standards and expectations that are put on women, and that is because I do believe that our history has made the world a more hostile and judgmental place towards women. I don’t think that this means that anyone else can’t experience the same feelings, and I encourage everyone to think about the narratives that they are conforming to because society tells us we should.
Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex / Simone De Beauvoir. Vintage Books, 1974.
“Body Image & Eating Disorders.” National Eating Disorders Association, 22 Feb. 2018, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/body-image-eating-disorders.
Cofer, Judith Ortiz. The Latin DELI: Prose and Poetry. University of Georgia Press, 1993.
“TEDTalks: Chimamanda Adichie–the Danger of a Single Story.” TED, 2009.
“The Story of my Body” by Judith Cofer is a story of her life coming to understand true value and worth outside of physical appearance. Cofer’s story begins in her childhood. She describes not fitting into any cultures because of her appearance which is still an issue today, although many are working towards inclusivity. Her body image depleted as she got older and came to America. Body image is a huge issue in America to this day. Some research “suggests children as young as 3 years old can have body image issues” (Family Doctor). The interactions children have with their peers and adults as well as social media can have a huge influence on how children, and people in general, perceive themselves. Hearing how adults talk about others can affect a child’s body image. In “The Story of my Body,” adults commenting on Cofer’s appearance made her aware of the fact that she looked different. Cofer worked through her body image issues and can to discover self-worth in her writing and education. She contributed to the wonderful diversity we have in America. Despite being from another country, Cofer realized her intelligence and allowed it to carry her through life. She learned that her human dignity lies in who she is as a person. Many people that come to America may feel as if they do not belong. However, the individuals come to realize their important contribution to making America the “melting pot” it truly is. The attached TED talk discusses some of the diversity people from other countries bring to America (TEDx Talks). Once we realize that diversity is a beautiful thing, we can learn to love ourselves, just like Judith Cofer learned to love herself (Nawal Amir). “The Story of my Body” discusses the difficulties associated with not feeling like you belong, but continuing to walk through life to find that self-worth does not come from physical appearance. True self-worth comes from who you are and how you treat others.
Citations:
Childhood Body Image: Familydoctor.org Editorial Staff. Familydoctor.org, American Academy of Family Physicians, February 2021, https://familydoctor.org/building-your-childs-body-image-and-self-esteem/. Accessed 3 September 2021.
TEDx Talk: TEDx Talks. “What Being Hispanic and Latinx Means in the United States | Fernanda Ponce | TEDxDeerfield.” YouTube, uploaded by TEDx Talks, 10 April 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1A4Vsh5Qas.
Beauty in Diversity: Amir, Nawal. “Beauty in Diversity || A Short Film by Nawal Amir.” YouTube, uploaded by Nawal Amir, 1 May 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW8nQ99cUBA.
I think you hit the nail on the head about questioning the standards that are applied to women today and wondering if it’s possible to even imagine life without those standards and how you respond to them.
I really enjoyed your post about body image and I believe it is important to recognize the role social media plays in these detrimental effects on our body image. Constantly, young adults are scrolling on Instagram and Tiktok, platforms that show photoshopped and edited content. This forces ourselves to compare to unrealistic standards, and damages the way we see ourselves. It is important to remember that not everything you see on the internet is real, and often times, the pictures people are posting are the BEST photos of them, they are not the bad angles or natural poses.
So interesting too that so often recently I have been seeing influencers sharing about how they stopped using filters because they noticed that they started to dislike the way they looked when they saw themselves without it. Even the people we look at as perfect fall victim to the same stuff we do.
I really like how you emphasized the idea of the “perfect woman”. This is such a big issue in our world especially with social media tricking young girls into believing they need to look a certain way. Also the way you connected this idea to de Beauvoir reading from last week was very eye opening. Your statement that women have to accept this idea that we must fit into the societal norm, we are definitely the “other”. I also think that your point about caring about looks in 50s 60s or 70s is so important because if we can look ahead and realize how we will not care about comparing ourselves to photoshopped models then, why worry about it now?
I think I feel like hopefully we won’t care then and we’ll just care about living a fulfilling life, but at the same time I know too many people who still care so much about their image even in their 60s and 70s. It seems exhausting, and it scares me to think that I could spend my whole life in that mindset while missing out on what truly matters.
I love how you emphasized the link between American body ideals and de Beauvoir’s “other”. I also agree that diversity is one of the best parts of life. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same! One could even go as far to say that he master-slave dialectic is at play when it comes to the ideal body image. Most American women will fall slave to the ideal body image and never see themselves as good enough. I feel it is important to reclaim our worth and dignity and recognize ourselves as master of our own body.
I 100% agree that the slave-master dialect can be used to describe body image. If you’re the “ideal” body, you can easily find clothes that flatter you, people who represent you and look like you, and maybe even more partners who desire you. If you’re thin you are automatically given the assumption of health, which is not the case. Thankfully, I see a shift coming with body image and body size, but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done there.
I like that you talked about body image. I believe women have unrealistic expectations for what they should look like. Many women also believe that some celebrities got their body to look like that by working out and eating healthy. Girls who are very young are exposed to these “expectations at an extremely young age. This creates a whole other problem in society. I think we need to work to change the expectations put on young women.
I often question myself if I too will look back and care about all of the outrageous diets and exercises to look the best I could in a bikini. I think it is so hard to not only grow up around women who dieted and made that lifestyle seem normal but it is hard to love yourself for what it is because of how we think we should look. You made several good points about how even very young children struggle with how they see their self and that is disappointing but can only be blamed on todays society. Marilyn Monroe was considered one of the most beautiful natural women of her time. She wasn’t skinny, she had wrinkles, stretch marks and other imperfections but she embraced them and that is what made her so beautiful.
I like how you brought children up, and how easy it is to see what your mom or sister or babysitter is doing and think that’s what you need to do too. I already know that when I am a mom I will work really hard to avoid that if at all possible for my kids (girls OR boys). At the very least, I can be thankful that I have the insight that most parents my parents age did not.
I think this a great representation into what women in today’s society feel, and how they are often “shamed” in a way because of how they look or what they wear. One term I often her referenced when talking about women who are into sports is that they look like a “Tom-Boy”, do you feel as if this falls into the same category as what you described above? I noticed you mentioned certain standards of a women as well, and I would have to agree with you that there are certain double standards of women which fall unnecessarily onto their shoulders, and often cause unwanted stress when it comes to how to look and feel just because you are a woman. This is a very interesting topic and I love that you were able to discuss it in a way that brings a very different yet unique perspective to the topic.
I enjoyed reading this post because I agree with lots of what was said. It is very interesting to think about will we still care what we look like when we are older? because right now it seems impossible with how society is shaped and social media pushing onto us how we are supposed to look. It is heartbreaking to think about all the young girls with eating disorders and other psychological issues solely because they want to look a certain way that society has pushed onto them. Who decided this should be the standard?
I enjoyed your discussion of body image and the double standards that come with body image. Struggling with body image is so relatable for so many women, especially with the growing presence of social media. Women are constantly pushed towards this unattainable image of what a women should be, thus reinforcing last week’s discussion of de Beauvoir’s “Other.” Ortiz’s piece did a wonderful job on illustrating how women pick themselves apart, comparing themselves to unrealistic “standards.”
I really enjoyed your views on this topic! I found it very interesting that you give the description of “the prefect woman”. I think Ortiz made it a point to acknowledge that many people view others through the “social norm lens”. meaning they view people and base what they should look like off of what a “perfect person” looks like to them. I also think that this not only applies to just women but every gender in todays world.
I thought you made some excellent points throughout your presentation, and the one I thought about the most was when you mentioned how this image we have about how a woman should look is so entrenched in our society that we don’t even notice it. Through all the commercials, the female actors we see on TV, and even the so called “models” of Instagram, we are each changing how we see women to how they are portrayed in front of us. Another point you made that I agreed with would be how we see beauty as we age, and how the perceptions we have now could be completely different from when we reach an older age. All in all, it can be difficult to spot out these double standards in ourselves nonetheless in our society, but it is needed in order to overcome these barriers that we have constructed.
The construction of your post was brilliant! I think it is so important to address how body image affects men and women everyday. While men do have certain societal expectations of body image, it is not nearly as ingrained in society as the expectations on women. there have always been an emphasis on thinness, acne-free, straight white teeth, among many other traits that are deemed beautiful. Throughout the past ten years or so, however, a conversation that has come up time and time again is the idea of redefining the beauty industry and body image. Many companies today have started embracing different body shapes and types, they have used less photoshop, and are trying to show the “perfect” woman as the “everyday” woman. Their emphasis is starting to shift from one type. While the beauty world has a long way to go for total inclusivity, I think we are starting to see a larger emphasis on an inclusive beauty world.
Hi!
I enjoy how you said that she also had an idea of what beauty wasn’t supposed to look like and worked off of this. Throughout life we are exposed to what society expects those to look like, and if these expectations are not met then they are immediately portrayed and labeled as an “other,” similar to what you discussed. This topic is so important at it applies to almost everyone. Almost everyone feels lost with some aspect of themselves where they feel not enough. I liked how you discussed not just the physical attributes, but the mental and personality aspects. I also enjoyed how you brought up how we introduce questions to ourselves daily regarding our future, in hopes that we have changed our mentality. There should be no guilt in enjoying what life offers you, but rather there should be guilt in letting opportunities pass. There is beauty in being the “other,” as the other may be different and beautiful in their own way.
I really enjoy reading this blog. This blog speaks to me and many women around the world. As Ortiz show all her flaws she is just showing things that she see’s as we all see in ourselves but others will not see. Yes society will put women in a category of what we should look like and the normal standard of being thin to be pretty or matter, but the every women has a uniqueness about themselves.
I completely agree with your explanation about body image and self worth specifically in the US, based on Cofer’s reading. It is extremely sad that body image issues start becoming a problem even at the young age of 3, but it is based on what you are taught by your parents. I relate to this on a very personal level because I had parents that talked very poorly of their body, even when I was a kid which caused me at times to think that my body was the most important thing about myself even though it is not. I like how you connected this to immigrants in the US by stating that sometimes at first they may feel like they do not belong, but ultimately who they are is exactly who they are supposed to be here, and that is contributing to our society known as the “melting pot”.
I can’t get over how relatable this reading, and blog is to me as a young woman in her mid-20’s. The stereotypes we women face, and the double standards you mention is so frustrating. We as a society should be moving forward, but a lot of times I feel like we are just acting like our predecessors did toward woman, just in different manners.. e.g. setting a beauty standard (skinny, clear skin, etc), women getting paid less than a man even though she is more qualified, etc. To me, I feel this topic can go so much more further than just body image.
Like you, I also ask myself “am I going to care about x,y,z, when I’m old?”. I have poor self-esteem, likely like a lot of women my age do as our bodies are changing from our youthful, teen selves to now “womanly” bodies, but no matter how my body changes that question I ask myself still is asked. Life is too short to keep shaming ourselves for these minor, non-societal fitting “imperfections” we make ourselves hate.
I think your piece is very interesting and makes people think about what body image means to them. The fact that body image is such a big and common topic in social media this days, sometimes it makes it hard to identify if people are criticizing themselves based on how they want to look for themselves or how they think they should look for everyone else. It is also crazy and mind-blowing how worrying about body image can start at such a young age. One part of your writing that stood out to me was the fifth paragraph when you said how you wondered if you would still care about all the beauty standards when you are older. I think that is something a lot of people do not think about and it is a good way to look at this idea of body image and how it can really affect peoples lives.
Hello, I first wanted to start this off by saying how well I think you did review this text. With that being said, one takeaway I had from your write-up was the definition of body image, which reads in part as “how you think about yourself”. I say this is the biggest thing I learned or pondered from the review because I believe that most typically think of how others perceive someone’s body when thinking about what the definition of body image is. Understanding this part, that it is also how you think about yourself, is critical. It may only start as thinking about how others think of your body, but only until you begin to play mind games with yourself and body image becomes a nagging thought. Not only is someone dealing with the pressure of body image from others, society that is, but also from themself. At that point the battle has been lost, it is impossible for someone to appease everyone, but once you have turned on yourself, body image becomes a negative part of your life. I wanted to address this side of body image, and what I learned about it from your review because too often I feel it is ignored.
I think it is really important that you did your context presentation on body image! This is something that has been a hot topic recently. I was in middle school when the Dove Real Beauty campaign came about and it seemed to be a success. I feel like we were on the uprise in cultural talk around body image until TikTok became popular. Many TikTokers, like other media users, set a standard for women to have perfect bodies but the problem is that it has bursted into the younger age group that I feel that other media has stayed clear from. Hashtags like #whatieatinaday have caused harm to young users thinking having only water or small amounts of food in a day is a fun and trendy thing that their favorite TikToker does. It is unfortunate the amount of unhealthy health trends are promoted on this app and it is causing the cultural view of body image to spiral.
You can read more about a personal testimony of how teens body images are being warped on TikTok called “It’s not worth it” here. https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/it-s-not-worth-it-young-women-how-tiktok-has-n1234193
Your context presentation was a good read! I always enjoy whenever people write about body image since it’s always important to spread awareness and make the topic become less “touchy”. You reviewed this so well and I enjoyed how much information was laid out, but was still very easy to follow along and read. Lately, society has been consumed by media and diet culture, which hasn’t been helping easily influenced people with trying to develop a healthy relationship with their body and the food they put in it. I’ve seen people online talking about getting out of dieting and trying to help through intuitive eating, but there is still the idea of ‘weight loss’ being tied to it.
Body image is such an interesting subject for me to even think about and discuss as a college-aged woman. Everywhere I turn, I am reminded of the “ideal” body, which truthfully, is very different depending on what area of the world you are discussing body image. I don’t think there is one “ideal” body personally, I think it is just being comfortable and healthy in your skin is your “ideal” body. However, it is hard to think that way when social media, television, movies, celebrities, and even your friends have bodies that you wish you had; it makes you so uncomfortable in your own skin. I believe that it takes time to truly love the body you are in and to not deeply think about everything that is pushing their “ideal” body image.
This story by Ortiz is very insightful, as it tells what many girls and women experience all the time. Furthermore, it tells the impacts left on these same girls and women as other people judge and stereotype them. Your statement about eating disorders is very real. With young girls and young women especially, they feel compelled to look in a way that matches the beauty standard. This leaves these girls to develop habits that help them to achieve their goal “look” but simultaneously hurt their bodies and could potentially be very dangerous. I think that this is an extremely real issue throughout our world today and needs to be talked about more.
Hello!
I have always found this topic interesting, for many reasons but one that stands out is because i have had these stereotypical images of what i should look like placed in my head by my family, or what they believe is right. I personally loved how you summed it up into a very effortless read hitting all the main points. It always sparks my question of why if we are aware of the wrong we still find ourselves subconsciously projecting the same pattern. In many ways it is a danger to have such beauty standards because some of the measures especially women take to achieve them is very harmful on mental and psychical health.