In researching fears and anxieties, I’ve come to sort of a realization. Not only do most of us have different fears from one another, but many fears of one person can easily be considered comforting or calming to another. This is an extremely interesting dynamic I want to explore with a representation of some of the most common fears as long as revealing an abstracted version of some of mine to represent this dynamic. To do this I want to create a cyclical animation that repeats upon itself to represent how one’s fears just build upon themselves and can seem never ending.
As its cyclical it shouldn’t really have a beginning per se but I will begin with a clock that is melting ala ‘Persistence of time.’ The hands are made of medical needles. Frame pans to a spider next to it with mascara brushes for legs while zooming into its eyes that are reflecting (as of now subject is undecided). Zoom out as spider is crushed by boot before it steps up and into a Chinook helicopter as its taking off. After takeoff the ‘mouth’ of the helicopter opens to release a ‘love’ drone that flys out. It heads towards a set of flower clouds only to return and open fire on the helicopter’s engines from which it came with a ‘pregnancy test missile’. The back hatch of the helicopter is opened from the helicopter and it begins to drop its payloads of its own hellfire missiles. As they fall to the ground below, parachutes in the forms of dresses slow their descent. When they reach the ground there is an explosion of lace ribbons which expand to flood the screen and then come to bind a pair of shaking hands. The hands are freed as a bullet tears them loose. The trajectory is followed as it flies into a gas tank, which explodes next to a clock.
The animation is to be projected in silence with a single pair of headphones that will have a dictation of social anxious thoughts that are dark and negative narrated by me. The animation in contrast has a rather bright and cartoony feel to it.
Original ://
I know that people experience fear differently. What terrifies me may only be a nervous anxiety for most. I’m not scared of what it seems to be the logical things to be afraid of. I’d love to jump from a plane, scuba deep in the ocean, or pet any number of deadly animals. Yet still I’m someone who has paralyzed my own life from the fears that I have let rule me. I want to do an examination of fears and anxiety to create a powerful artwork that could help not just me but others that suffer from the restraints it causes in one’s own mind.
A few years ago in Video Art 1 there was a statement that has always stuck with me. The topic at hand had been about scary movies in general and that nearly all of them are filmed in dark areas. Whether it’s just night time, deep in a cave, out in the woods, lost in outer space, or in the middle of a thunderstorm. The professor had mentioned how impressed he’d be if one of us would be able to create a horror film under a clear, bright, and sunny day setting. Fast forward a short while and I was listening to an interview of a middle eastern child explain his biggest fear. He was most afraid to go to school on those clear, bright, sunny days, because those were the days that bombs fell from the sky.
One of the jobs I had in my time away from school was soldering GPS units to be used by U.S. military drones. I can attest that the inaccuracy of GPS units used by the military is not unlike that of a cellphone’s GPS in a storm so in effect the darkness of clouds for this child quite literally brings a safety to him not unlike a blanket pulled over one’s head. I have fears of social anxiety, and not being able to help those that are in need of it.
In comparison, I know that logically mine mean almost nothing, and it’s with burning embarrassment I feel I need help here myself. I want to use these concepts to create something powerful, but I’m still feeling lost in possibilities. I know I want to incorporate some sort of narration I would dictate and I’m attracted to the idea of a piece that is interactive which incorporates the use of skills I’ve learned of video editing, moving illustrations, and/or 3D renderings. This looks to be a fairly transformative year in politics, and the possible outcomes scare me, so I do have an itch to make a political statement. I am absolutely of the belief that the world needs more unity and I want to challenge those who want more division by making them face their fears along with me.