#happiness

The Power of Kindness

Man in business suit crouching and shaking the hand of a seated homeless man

World Kindness Week and Day (November 13th) are upon us. While we prepare for the holiday season, it is important to know how a little kindness can go a long way. The American Psychological Association defines kindness as a “benevolent and helpful action intentionally directed toward another person” and “is often considered to be motivated by the desire to help another, not to gain explicit reward or to avoid explicit punishment.” Kindness brings a sense of happiness and well-being to those it is directed toward—and to the one giving it. In research, kindness has been shown to build social bonds, increase trust and acceptance in our relationships, and increase overall happiness in ourselves.

Instinctively, we as humans seek to create positive environments for the survival, well-being, and happiness of ourselves and those around us. Take, for example, affective touch, like a hug, from someone we feel close to. Affective touch can make us feel relaxed, safe, and calm, and activates our parasympathetic response when our brain interprets it from a non-threatening source. Kindness can also positively impact us on the social, national, and international scales. Research shows that kinder societies also tend to be happier societies. “Engaging in benevolent acts and expecting kindness from others” both correlated with individual happiness levels. So, how can we utilize the power of kindness this season and beyond? Below are a few things to consider about kindness in practice:

  • “Kindness starts with being kind to yourself”: Take the time to look after your needs. Eat a well-balanced diet, exercise, give yourself time to breathe and rest, and be mindful of your thoughts and emotions. It is harder to practice kindness if you aren’t first kind to yourself.
  • “Lead with compassion, follow with kindness”: It may be checking in on a coworker who is struggling or offering to get coffee when someone seems overwhelmed. Always remember that we may not have the full picture of what someone is going through, but we can still lead with compassion and follow with kindness.
  • “Give to give, not to receive”: Knowing the benefits of being kind to others can make us desire those rewards. However, oftentimes giving kindness just to give it is much more rewarding.
  • “Practice makes kinder”: The more we practice kindness, the kinder we become. If random acts of kindness don’t come easily, challenge yourself to do one kind thing each day for someone and watch how much easier it gets.
  • “Kindness begets kindness”: Just as a bully can create a culture of fear, so can kindness from one help foster kindness in others. So, try to lead by example and start helping people turn to one another in small and big ways.

Remember that the power of kindness can have lasting effects. We can reflect and remember a time when someone did a kind act or had a kind word for us. Seek to make a lasting positive impact on someone, not just this holiday season, but every day of the year.

Written by: Aaron Fowler, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Greene County, fowler.440@osu.edu.

Reviewed by: Lisa Barlage, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Ross County, barlage.7@osu.edu.

April Showers Brings May Flowers

Hello Spring seasonal greeting banner.

The other day, a friend said, “I think spring flowers are the prettiest,” and I would have to agree. I believe the appeal of spring flowers is deeper than just the visual appeal of the flowers themselves but also the joy we experience being reminded of beauty and life after winter. It is not your imagination; spring brings us joy. The dawn of spring brings longer days, increased exposure to sunlight, and warmer weather that gets us outside and moving. All these factors contribute to an increase in our body’s production of serotonin. The hormone and neurotransmitter serotonin help regulate our mood by reducing the feeling of sadness and influence our learning, memory, and happiness. Serotonin is a natural mood booster released by exercise, exposure to sun or bright light, and the natural environment.

Flowers have a positive impact on your mood, especially the act of giving or receiving flowers. Research by Dr. Jeannette Haviland-Jones and team shows that in three different studies, receiving flowers stimulates positive emotions, improves mood, and contributes to positive social behaviors.

I am not much of a gardener, but one thing I enjoy every spring is the variety of daffodils, hyacinths, and tulips that bloom each year. I love to cut some of these and bring them to bring joy into the house; this year, we placed them on the mantel and changed the arrangement each week; it not only brightened the space but also gave us an amazing fragrance that even on these rainy April days reminded me that spring has arrived.

Hand holding bouquet of flowers on background of blue wood.

Consider incorporating spring bulbs in your garden for next year or planting a variety of bulbs in a container to enjoy a beautiful spring display. Don’t wait for a special occasion to gift fresh flowers; growing a garden, harvesting flowers, and gifting fresh flowers are scientifically proven ways to feel fulfilled and to share joy and positivity with others.

Written by: Laura Halladay, Family and Consumer Sciences Program Specialist, Ohio State University Extension

Reviewed by: Kate Shumaker, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Holmes County

References:

Cleveland Clinic. (2022). Serotonin: What is it, Function & Levels. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22572-serotonin

Haviland-Jones, J., Rosario, H. H., Wilson, P., & McGuire, T. R. (2005). An Environmental Approach to Positive Emotion: Flowers. Evolutionary Psychology, 3, 104–132.

Pokorny, K. (2023, July 3). Pot up some bulbs and dream of Spring. https://extension.oregonstate.edu/news/pot-some-bulbs-dream-spring-0

Photo Credit:
Hand Holding Bouquet © [powerstock] / Adobe Stock
Hello Spring © [ludmila_m] / Adobe Stock

Too many meetings kill productivity, so CHOOSE happiness!

I was intrigued to read new research from Microsoft that found employees report not having enough uninterrupted focus time during the workday. One of the major factors relating to this lack of time was the 192% increase in the number of online meetings and calls held now versus pre-Covid. When I look at my own calendar, I see groups who used to meet once a month or even quarterly, now meeting every month, many even more often. During my typical week I probably have 3 in-person meetings and at least 4 online meetings. That doesn’t include the teaching I often do – online. A large study of over 30,000 employees held in early 2023 found that inefficient meetings are the number one distraction that impacts productivity, and too many meetings is number two.

A walking meeting

So, what can we do about meeting fatigue? Several companies have tried meeting free months, selecting one meeting-free day each week, or just shortening the length of meetings. In these cases, productivity and satisfaction increased, and stress levels were reduced.  Another idea is holding walking meetings. Walking meetings allow you to promote a healthy lifestyle while accomplishing work. An bonus benefit, walking meetings are usually shorter! If you want to try a Walking Meeting, here are a few tips:

  • Avoid noisy areas, so everyone can be heard.
  • Consider scheduling your meeting to avoid times when walking routes are busy (at lunch or right after school lets out).
  • Designate or include stops to ensure everyone is ok and to allow slow walkers to be included.
  • Consider note taking – will you record the meeting, or will someone write-up notes later?

While you are taking steps to reduce the number or length of meetings at your workplace, consider that “Happy Workers are More Productive.” Find ways to bring happiness to your workplace like:

  • Listening
  • Celebrating successes, birthdays, work anniversaries, etc.
  • Recognizing contributions of all staff to projects.
  • Leading by example using positivity, smiles, and humor; and avoiding office gossip.
  • Providing healthy treats every once in a while, like fresh fruit or vegetables, dark chocolate, or popcorn.

Consider ways you can cut out a meeting or two and improve the happiness of those with who you spend your time at work.

Writer: Lisa Barlage, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Ross County.

Reviewer: Misty Harmon, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Perry County.

Is Happiness a Choice?

Little boy with brown hair wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt

Actor, Leslie Jordan shared in his book, How Y’all Doing?, “Happiness is a choice. Happiness is a habit. And happiness is something you have to work hard at. It does not just happen.”

Is this true? Can you coach yourself to be happy(ier)? According to Drs. Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term Positive Psychology in 1998, yes you can. By focusing on “strengths and behaviors that build a life of meaning and purpose…emphasizing meaning and deep satisfaction, not just on fleeting happiness,” you can work to enhance your happiness through gratitude (Psychology Today, 2022).

Gratitude is strongly associated with one’s level of happiness. “Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

Here are some ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis (Harvard Health, 2021).

Black sign with white letters that says "Good Vibes Only" Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash
  • Keep a gratitude journal. There is no right way or wrong way to journal. List the people, places, and things for which you are grateful, or write about them in a story-telling fashion.
  • Write letters and thank you notes. When you express your gratitude by writing a letter, you are being an active participant in your happiness, investing in seeking out the goodness and joy that surrounds us.
  • Thank someone mentally. If you are on a time crunch and don’t have time to write a personal letter, just thinking about the person or action you are grateful for helps to maintain the pattern of reflecting on the positive impacts on your life.
  • Practice mindfulness. According to Psychology Today, “Monitoring your ongoing experience may make you feel happier by helping you slow down to appreciate things or to notice more of the happy things that are going on around you.”
  • Count your blessings. Spend just a few minutes each day listing all the blessings you have encountered. Cultivating this state of appreciation creates the habit of focusing on what you have rather than what you do not.

You do have the ability to impact your overall level of happiness! Practice the simple steps of gratitude on a daily basis and see if you find more contentment, joy, hope, and happiness in your life!

Sources:

Azar, B. (2011). Positive Psychology Advances, with Growing Pains. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/04/positive-psychology#:~:text=Positive%20psychology%20%E2%80%94%20a%20term%20coined,the%20cover%20of%20Time%20

Carter, C. (2005). Count your blessings. . Greater Good in Action: Science-based Practices for a Meaningful Life. Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/count_your_blessings

Greenberg, M. (2020). The Surprising Reason mindfulness makes you happier. Psychology Today. Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/202001/the-surprising-reason-mindfulness-makes-you-happier

Harvard Health. (2021). Giving thanks can make you happier. Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School. Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier#:~:text=In%20positive%20psychology%20research%2C%20gratitude,adversity%2C%20and%20build%20strong%20relationships.

Jordan, L. (2001). How Y’all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived. Harper Collins Publishers; New York. ISBN 978-0-06-307619-8

Psychology Today, (N.D.). Positive Psychology. Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/positive-psychology

Sutton, C. (2019). Letters of Gratitude: How to write a message of appreciation. Positive Psychology.  Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-messages-letters-lists/

University of California, Berkeley, (2022). Gratitude Journal. Greater Good in Action: Science-based Practices for a Meaningful Life. Retrieved on December 12, 2022, from https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal

Written by: Dr. Roseanne Scammahorn, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Darke County

Reviewed by: Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Perry County 

Why We NEED CONNECTION

Lately I have been feeling even more isolated and alone than I did at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I have found myself retreating and not reaching out to others in the same ways that I did a year ago. But a couple weeks ago, some friends called and asked me to join them for a small girls’ night out dinner. We safely socially distanced from others, and the four of us enjoyed an evening at a hotel together. THAT event has changed my train of thought. I was feeling bad for myself and feeling very lonely, which is not easy as an extroverted person. But what I realized was that even if I cannot spend time with people physically, I do not have to wait for them to contact me. Connection is a two-way street. I can reach out even while staying “safe”.

Connection looks different in every relationship. Sometimes you have a connection because of chemistry with another. Sometimes it is a “forced” interaction because you are colleagues, in class together, or share a common interest. We communicate through verbal and non-verbal signals that can drive connection or cause disconnection. Social media is also a major form of connection for many of us.

YOU WERE MADE FOR CONNECTION. Even if you are an introverted person, I am sure you still have a small circle of people you trust and who are important to you. Interactions drive our daily lives. Connecting with others helps us remember that we matter. Our brains thrive from connection. 

We were also made to show connection through safe, physical touch. Hugging releases oxytocin* and dopamine* and directly impacts cortisol* levels. It is recommended that we should receive 10 second hugs– 8 a day for maintenance, 12 a day for growth, and upwards of 18 for optimal mental health.

  • Oxytocin promotes feeling of contentment, reduces stress, and promotes bonding.
  • Dopamine is linked to Parkinson’s disease (low levels) and Schizophrenia (high levels). Dopamine is the pleasure hormone. Lack of dopamine can lead to procrastination, self doubt, and lack of enthusiasm.
  • Cortisol is our fight or flight hormone. It’s your body’s main stress hormone. It works with certain parts of your brain to control your mood and motivation.

In high stress states it feels like our body cannot contain emotion without someone to hold us. Touch is not a single sense. Having your back rubbed stimulates neurons that release oxytocin, dopamine, and cortisol. Vicarious touch can help us to soothe ourselves. A hunger for touch means a need is not met.

We are also our own biggest barrier to connection. We tell ourselves we are okay. We tell ourselves that we can handle it. We tell ourselves we don’t want to bother anyone. I encourage you to please stop doing that to yourself. Think about how you feel when someone reaches out to you and wants to spend time with you. It makes you feel wanted and needed and important. 

Take control of your own well-being. Pick up the phone. Write a letter. Send a text. Make a list of who you miss and start putting “Connect with _____________________” on your to-do list every day. It will make a difference. I know it has for me.

Written by: Jami Dellifield, Ohio State University Extension, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Hardin County

Reviewed by: Misty Harmon, Ohio State University Extension, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Perry County

RESOURCES

Benefits of Being a Bird Nerd

Last year, I transformed into a self-proclaimed bird nerd. The change started in the spring of 2020 when I started working from home because of COVID. I placed my desk next to a window and in April, I noticed a robin building a nest. Watching the robin sit on her nest for hours upon hours was fascinating and I was quickly hooked.

In May, bluebirds visited my suburban backyard for the first time and after putting up a bluebird house, we hosted the pair of bluebirds and their 3 adorable babies several weeks later. I was fascinated by the whole process, from the nesting, feeding, and successful fledging (developing wing feathers that are large enough for flight). I cheered the first day the babies flew out of their box and also experienced sadness when they left their house for good. My sorrow was quickly replaced with joy when a pair of Baltimore orioles passed through for a couple of days. I was enthralled watching the colorful birds eat the grape jelly I set out. Summer brought ruby-throated hummingbirds and warblers. This winter, I am enjoying a barred owl who lives nearby and occasionally graces me with his majestic presence.

Picture of a Barred Owl by Laura Stanton.
Barred Owl
Photo by Laura M. Stanton

Although the joy of birding happens right outside my window most days, whenever possible, I safely visit different habitats to expand the variety of birds to watch. Whether I am inside or outside, I notice so much more than just the birds. I notice positive changes happening within.

The benefits I have experienced from watching our feathered friends have been confirmed by research. Why is birding good for your health? Watching birds:

  • Promotes mindfulness. Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, in the moment, and without judgment. Whether you are birding inside or out, you are in the “here and now” which has been shown to decrease stress, anxiety, and rumination, and improve attention, memory, and focus. In addition, mindfulness can reduce chronic pain.
  • Requires stealth and silence. Spending time in silence lowers blood pressure, increases blood flow, and enhances sleep. Silence can also be therapeutic for depression.
  • Encourages meditation. During meditation, you eliminate the “noise” in your mind, creating a sense of calm and peace that benefits your emotional well-being and your overall health.
  • Relies on your sense of sight and hearing. A study found that just listening to bird song contributes to perceived attention restoration and stress recovery. Click here to listen to a sample of common bird songs.
  • Prevents nature-deficit disorder, a phenomenon related to the growing disconnect between humans and the natural world. Americans, on average, spend approximately 90% of their time indoors.
  • Benefits your heart. Regular exposure to nature is associated with improvements in cardiovascular disease and longevity.
  • Stimulates a sense of gratitude, which is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.

Sources
Carter, S. (2016). Nature deficit disorder. Live Smart Ohio. Retrieved from https://livesmartohio.osu.edu/mind-and-body/carter-413osu-edu/nature-deficit-disorder   

Louv, R. (2008). Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Algonquin Books: Chapel Hill, NC.

Powers-Barker, P. (2016). Introduction to mindfulness. Ohioline. Retrieved from
https://ohioline.osu.edu/factsheet/hyg-5243

Stanton, L. M. (2020). Barred Owl. JPEG file.

Stanton, L. M. (2020). Noises off: The benefits of silence. Live Smart Ohio. Retrieved from
https://livesmartohio.osu.edu/mind-and-body/stanton-60osu-edu/noises-off-the-benefit-of-silence

Written by Laura M. Stanton, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Warren County, stanton.60.osu.edu

Reviewed by Misty Harmon, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Perry County, harmon.416@osu.edu