Author: Erin Ruggiero

A Fresh Start Doesn’t Follow the Calendar

Every January, we see the same thing: people pledging to eat healthier, exercise more, or tackle that project they have been putting off. But the truth is, personal growth doesn’t follow the calendar, and forcing yourself to start on January 1st can sometimes make it harder to stick with changes.

I have seen people around me sharing their new goals for the year and often wonder: does anyone really stick to those resolutions they set in January? I don’t feel a sense of renewal in the middle of winter. With cold weather, snow, and busy schedules, I’m thinking more about hibernating than setting and accomplishing new goals!

Interestingly, research shows that you don’t need the calendar to reset or start fresh. Behavioral scientists describe “fresh start” moments- times when people feel psychologically separated from the past-  as opportunities to pursue new goals. While January 1st is the most obvious example, many people experience this sense of renewal more naturally in spring.

Spring brings longer days, warmer weather, and signs of new life all around us. Trees start to bud, flowers bloom, and the world feels more energized. These changes can affect us physically and mentally and I notice it in myself every year! Getting the chance to spend more time outdoors can boost mood, energy, and focus, and make it easier to take on new challenges and stick with positive habits.

path in nature

That said, getting outside doesn’t have to wait until spring. If you enjoy being outdoors even in the colder months, my colleague wrote a great article that shares ideas for connecting with nature and spending time outside during winter. It’s a good reminder that every season offers opportunities to pause, reset, and care for our well-being; we just experience that sense of renewal a little differently depending on the time of year.

Of course, if you feel renewed and motivated in January, that’s perfectly okay too! The point isn’t to wait for a season to start changing- what matters is tuning into when you feel ready and taking advantage of that energy, whether it comes in January, March, or any other time of year.

Written By: Erin Ruggiero, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences

Reviewed By: Holly Bandy, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences

You’re Doing Better Than You Think: A Real Talk on Mom Guilt

Parents, we’ve all been there. It’s the end of the day, and it feels like you’ve climbed a mountain just to get to bedtime. The dishes are still in the sink, laundry is sitting in the washer, and you’re running low on patience. You feel your frustration rising and you just need the kids to go to sleep already.  And then…silence. Everyone is finally asleep, but now here comes the guilt. You start replaying the day in your head. You wonder if you were too snappy, too distracted, too tired. You think about how you should have just soaked up those extra snuggles, the stalling at bedtime, those little requests for water. That feeling has a name: mom guilt. And you are not alone.

Parent holding baby hand

Cleveland Clinic defines mom guilt as, “a name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some women feel when they don’t live up to their own or others’ expectations in their role as a parent.” Though it shows up in different ways, mom guilt is something many of us have experienced. Lately, I’ve been noticing it more when I’m away from home for an extended period of time. I’m lucky to have a strong support system while I travel for work- my kids are safe, loved, and cared for. But that doesn’t take away the pull on my heart when I have to leave. No matter how well things are managed at home, that familiar ache creeps in. Will they remember that I wasn’t there? That’s the weight of mom guilt, it shows up even when we’re doing our best. Many people feel that mothers feel guilty because of the societal pressure to handle it all. No matter the reason behind the guilt, what an you do when it shows up?

  • Pause and reflect, don’t judge. Ask yourself: is this guilt coming from my values or from unrealistic expectations?
  • Don’t try to be perfect. Perfection isn’t the goal. Showing up for your kids with love and effort are what matter.
  • Have a plan for when you know the guilt will show up. If you know what triggers your mom guilt, see if you can prepare for it in advance. This blog post from last year gives tips on traveling without your kids to make it easier.
  • Talk it out. Sharing these feelings with a trusted friend or family member can help lighten the emotional load.

At the end of the day, mom guilt is a sign of how deeply you care. And while this post focuses on moms, it’s important to remember that all parents can experience guilt. But caring doesn’t mean you have to carry guilt around with you. It’s okay to be human and to have hard days. It’s okay to set the unrealistic standards down. Your presence, your effort, and your love are enough. So next time guilt shows up, meet it with compassion, not judgment, and remind yourself that you’re doing a great job.

Written By: Erin Ruggiero, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences

Reviewed By: Holly Bandy, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences

Family Check-Ins: A Simple Way to Strengthen Communication

Families are busy. Between work, school, and activities, it’s easy for families to feel disconnected, even while living under the same roof. But strong families are built on small, everyday connections. If you’re looking for a simple way to make sure everyone feels seen and heard, try adding family check-ins!

Communication and connection is important for a family. There are many different ways to implement a family check-in and it’s important to decide what works best for your household. Here are some simple ideas to try:

  • Rose, bud, thorn game: best part of your day, hardest part of your day, something you’re looking forward to.
  • 1 word feeling check: share how you are feeling in 1 word.
  • Best & worst: share the best part of your day and the worst part of your day.
  • High, low, ha: best part, worst part, something that made you laugh

Cartoon drawn families on house papers

When you choose to implement check-ins is up to you. You can do this at the dinner table, driving in the car, or even at bedtime. If you want to do a more structured check-in, you could try a family meeting. To see the most success with check-ins, remember to keep them low-pressure, be honest with one another, and celebrate the good stuff! Family check-ins might feel small, but over time, they can make a big difference. It’s all about creating space for connection — a few intentional minutes to pause, listen, and remind each other: “You matter here.”

Written By: Erin Ruggiero, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences

Reviewed By: Holly Bandy, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences