Think back to when you were a young child. What were you afraid of? Right now my preschool aged daughter is having a lot of fears. Things that as an adult seem unrealistic like bugs, standing on a step stool, and getting lost, but to her these fears are very real.
We know that young children are great at pretending and using their imagination. This can also cause many fears as kids can think of a million different unrealistic things that could happen or things, like monsters that are not real but may feel very real. Other common fears are fear of the dark, loud noises like fireworks, thunder and lightning, or being apart from their caregivers. These fears are normal and almost an expected part of child development.
When fears arise there are some tips to help with the situation:
- Give comfort to let your child know that they are safe, give hugs, and whatever you do to help your child feel safe and protected.
- Talk and listen, be calm and soothing and try to get your child to put their feeling to words.
- Don’t dismiss their fears and worries, to them they are very real.
- Limit exposure to scary images, movies, or shows.
- Praise and reward kids for coping with their fears to teach them they can deal with fears in the future as they arise.
- Don’t cater to fears-don’t avoid things because your child has the fear. For example, if your child is fearful of dogs don’t cross the street to avoid walking by dogs, instead talk through it and remain calm as you face that fear.
- There are many children’s books out there with themes of being scared or with facing fears. “The Worrysaurus” by Rachel Bright and “The Very Hungry Worry Monsters” by Rosie Greening are two of many on the subject. There are also episodes of children’s shows on the subject like “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood: Daniel Gets Scared.”
Lately with my daughter she has been telling me she is worried about different things. This has made me do some exploring. The question being, when do fears go beyond fear and cross over into anxiety?
Some signs in anxiety in children are if their fears seem extreme or are more than the fears of those of similar ages. For example, it would not be likely that an older child would experience separation anxiety. If fears cause your child to become very upset, tearful, irritable, or clingy. If fears keep your child from doing things like going to school, sleeping alone, or leaving the house, cause issues sleeping like waking in the night, bad dreams or bed wetting, cause symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, dizziness or sickness., or have a lot of negative thoughts or keep thinking bad things are going to happen.
Whether your child is having a little fear or a big worry, as caregivers we can try to be as supportive as possible to help children overcome their fears, developing ways to cope with their fears and anxieties and to give comfort to them as best as we can.
Written by: Katie Schlagheck, OSU Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences , Ottawa & Sandusky Counties
Reviewed by: Holly Bandy, OSU Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences
References: https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/anxiety-in-children