This year so far has been anything but easy for me. I have struggled with many changes, relationships, internal conflict, and even mental health issues that have never been an issue for me before now. I was struggling to find myself inside all of the chaos and it was really hurting me.

This fall break I had been given an amazing opportunity- one I have never been given or experienced before. I received an email from a student organization that I was hoping to get involved with. They were planning a backpacking trip to Shenandoah National Park for fall break. I have always loved the outdoors. I love camping, hiking, four-wheeling, and even just seeing beautiful places. But, I have never been backpacking. I have never tested myself like that.

I decided I was going to go. I didn’t think twice about the money, I asked for equipment as a christmas present. I rented from the OAC. I researched. My mom researched. I was doing this. I was doing it for me. I needed to find myself- the girl I had somehow lost this semester and I couldn’t even put my finger on why I’d lost her. That’s when I decided I was going to shut my phone off the entire trip. I knew I wouldn’t get service most of the time anyway, so why not shut it off and learn more about me? I wanted to get away from the world and test myself alone- with nobody else to prove myself to. I wanted to enjoy nature without a phone screen nagging for my attention. I wanted to lose those materialistic snapchat streaks and start fresh. I thought maybe I’d find out what I was struggling with and how I could fix it.

The trip was more than amazing. I cannot even put into words how empowering it was. We hiked parts of the Appalachian Trail. We didn’t see other people for over a day. We hung our food up from bears, we learned all kinds of trail guidelines, we took off our shoes and waded through knee high rivers, we pushed our physical strengths- hiking 11 miles in one day. But most of all we did it all on our own. Just a few of us girls. A dad on a day hike even stopped us and said how impressed he was we had been out there for days. I was proud.

Needless to say, I didn’t have some monumental realization of who I was, a fix to all my problems, what was happening in my life, or who I was.. and maybe that’s what I needed: to know thats not how it works. But I did learn a lot about myself anyway and I learned how hard I can push myself and my boundaries and get through anything because I am still me. I got a break to be with myself and nature, an experience not everyone gets. It was very needed and I cannot wait to do something similar again. Thank you OSU, yet again, and Women in the Outdoors for such an amazing opportunity.