I would have been devastated to know in April of last year what I would come to experience in the next twelve months. I would have been paralyzed by fear to a state of anxious inaction and failure. Now, I have been tested by these challenges and have learned from them. Looking back, it is clear to me that being pushed to my limits as a friend, a student, and a caregiver has guided me in the direction of my career. Any doubts I had had about becoming a physician have evaporated.

2016 was not without happiness; in fact, most of my academic experiences were positively influential. I took the opportunity to study medieval history and archeology in Ireland while I had the time and resources last May. I learned more than I ever could have anticipated, and am grateful to have led the team in creating a 3-episode podcast about the folklore, archeology, and people of our small Irish town. “Echoes from the Blackfriary” is available for download in any podcast player.

When what seemed like the shortest four weeks I’d ever experienced had elapsed, I was happy to return home and set up plans to shadow a neurologist from my hometown. Unfortunately, I then received a devastating phone call from one of my closest friends. 3 days later, I arrived in Cincinnati to be with them. While I was there, I became fully aware of the imperfection in the practice of medicine; all the math, science, and neurophysiology in the world would not have prepared me for the reality that is treatment. It was at that moment that I decided I either had to commit myself to med school, or choose another career that was easier to stomach.

The summer continued with a short internship with a neurologist, where I learned a lot about the business-side of practicing medicine and even had the opportunity to meet a few patients with multiple sclerosis and other neurological disorders. I got an overview of reading MRIs and EEGs, along with a crash course in neuroanatomy, which I was slated to take the following school year. When it was all over, I felt even more confident in my course of study and even had a slight advantage in being exposed to basic neuroanatomy before taking the course.

After spending much of my sophomore year applying to research assistant positions and reaching out to faculty labs with no response, I was grateful to finally interview with a lab at Nationwide Children’s Hospital at the end of the summer. I was offered the position and began working in Dr. Martin’s lab that September. I dedicated much of my time to developing my work ethic and commitment to the lab in Autumn semester of 2016, which benefitted me not only in gaining meaningful experience but also in understanding my relevant coursework: biochemistry, disease foundations, and neurophysiology. Without this opportunity, I would not have had as clear an understanding of those courses as I do now.

By January of 2017, I had enrolled in an MCAT prep course to prepare for my applications to med school. At the same time, tragedy struck my girlfriend with a dreadful and shocking loss in late January. Despite our time together with our friend the previous summer, spent learning how to care for and console a grieving friend, we were woefully unprepared to deal with the weight of this situation. On top of the most challenging coursework I have had at Ohio State, this semester forced us to rely on each other, learn to communicate better, and often put each other’s needs ahead of our own just to simply claw back to the surface and stay afloat. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment that my internal dialogue changed from “I want to become a doctor” to “I will become a doctor,” but this semester was the window in which it became clear to me that what I was meant to do was also what I needed to do. I look forward to the coming year, in which I will be developing my research and volunteer experience in preparation for my career through an independent project in the Martin lab at NCH and GED tutoring at Alvis House for former offenders.

I learned more from my experiences this year about myself and my career path than ever before. Early on in college, becoming a physician was a very abstract concept in my mind. It meant only applying my talents in understanding math and science in a meaningful and rewarding setting. Now, I see more of myself in the position I hope to one day achieve. I see a career which demands altruism and understanding. It requires more than a simple shallow effort to communicate and empathize with other people. Medicine rewards the physician with the successful treatment of patients and pays for it with the sacrifice of time, energy, and sometimes happiness. When people ask me if I’m ready and willing to make those necessary sacrifices to become a physician for the chance to change one patient outcome, I look to my experiences this year and can confidently say, “Absolutely.”