[The Home Page will show a running blog of your recent posts, which are categorized and show on that category’s page. Please delete this post or edit with your own information.]
[ “Year in Review” is where you should reflect on the past year and show how you have evolved as a person and as a student. You may want to focus on your growth in a particular area (as a leader, scholar, researcher, etc.) or you may want to talk about your overall experience over the past year. For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]
[ “G.O.A.L.S.” is a place where students write about how their planned, current, and future activities may fit into the Honors & Scholars G.O.A.L.S.: Global Awareness, Original Inquiry, Academic Enrichment, Leadership Development, and Service Engagement. For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email email@example.com. Delete these instructions and add your own post.
- Global Awareness: Students cultivate and develop their appreciation for diversity and each individual’s unique differences. For example, consider course work, study abroad, involvement in cultural organizations or activities, etc.
- Original Inquiry: Honors & Scholars students understand the research process by engaging in experiences ranging from in-class scholarly endeavors to creative inquiry projects to independent experiences with top researchers across campus and in the global community. For example, consider research, creative productions or performances, advanced course work, etc.
- Academic Enrichment: Honors & Scholars students pursue academic excellence through rigorous curricular experiences beyond the university norm both in and out of the classroom.
- Leadership Development: Honors & Scholars students develop leadership skills that can be demonstrated in the classroom, in the community, in their co-curricular activities, and in their future roles in society.
- Service Engagement: Honors & Scholars students commit to service to the community.]
[“Career” is where you can collect information about your experiences and skills that will apply to your future career. Like your resume, this is information that will evolve over time and should be continually updated. For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]
Throughout my life, I have always struggled with self-confidence. I’m not entirely sure where the trait came from, but I do know that it has followed me insidiously throughout my life. Growing up, I struggled to make friends with kids my own age because I was always unsure of how they perceived me. And once I started playing saxophone, it followed me there too, causing me to constantly compare my abilities to theirs. I strove to prove my abilities to those around me in order to receive their validation. I struggled with it even during high school, having found a close-knit group of friends who were also involved in band. One of those friends played saxophone as well, and we developed a slight rivalry as we each pushed to become more proficient on our instrument; secretly, though, I was always slightly envious of my friend, whose musicianship seemed to come to him effortlessly and constantly earned him praise from the band directors. So when he was chosen to be the soloist for our senior marching band show, I did my best to be supportive of him. Still, it was difficult because it felt like, yet again, my abilities and talent as a musician had been ignored. Eventually, though, I grew to accept our differing roles. I had been made woodwind captain of the marching band that year, and I realized that I really did enjoy working and interacting with the other members of the marching band, something I would not have been able to do as a soloist. However, I still quietly harbored the desire for just one chance to show the band that I could play every bit as well as my friend and seemingly like a miracle, the chance arrived.
The week before one of our major competitions, our band was thrown into a panic when my friend grew sick and was thus unable to play at the competition. My directors immediately turned to me, asking me if I could prepare the solo in time. I accepted enthusiastically and immediately set to work preparing the solo. Every second of my spare time was spent with that solo, during lunch, before practice, and even during band rehearsals. I lived and breathed the solo for a solid week, making sure that I would do the end product justice. Finally, the day of the performance arrived, and in the hours before my performance, I was a wreck. This would be the largest crowd I had ever performed in front of before in my life, and I had only had this solo for a week! How could I possibly expect that I could perform this at the level that the band deserved? My friends tried to encourage me, but my self-doubt overwhelmed me. There was no true moment where it went away. Actually, it stuck with me until the moment that the performance started, at which point I told myself, “Your fears aren’t what matter right now. You just have to go out there and play.” And so, I did; I played the solo with passion and emotion infusing every fiber of my body. I left everything on the field. And when I was done, I reveled in the crowd’s enthusiasm, which soared to match my own euphoria.
After the competition, it seemed like every single person I knew was coming up to congratulate me on how well the performance had gone. But it wasn’t until that night, as I rode home on the bus, that I realized what really stuck with me about the performance. I hadn’t needed anyone’s encouragement in order to perform well. Furthermore, I hadn’t needed anyone to tell me that I had done an amazing job once I had finished. Even before the last note of my solo had ended, I knew that every ounce of preparation I had put in had allowed me to create something truly beautiful through my playing. I realized that that ability was inside of me all along, and I didn’t need to prove it to anyone else. The experience caused me to reexamine my perception of my musical abilities and even myself as a whole. I realized that I no longer needed anyone else’s validation as to what I could achieve; instead, I could let go of that doubt and simply play. Every now and again, I forget that fact. My struggle with self-confidence is something that I doubt will truly ever go away. But in those moments where doubt threatens to overwhelm me, I can take a moment to stop. Take a deep breath. And remember that no matter what impossibilities I face, the ability to overcome them lies within me.
Tori Haller is a first-year undergraduate student pursuing her Bachelor of Arts in Political Science at the Ohio State University. She is very interested in government and advocacy and is hoping to pursue a Master’s Degree upon graduation. Haller is also involved in service with the Mount Leadership Scholar’s program at OSU.
Music is also a very important part of her life, as Haller believes that music is a powerful way to bring diverse groups of people together. In high school, she was very active within her high school band program, playing with the Wind Symphony and Jazz Ensemble I at Centerville High School. She also was actively involved in a leadership role within her high school marching. In college, she has continued to pursue her love of music by playing with the Symphonic Band and the saxophone studio at OSU.
In the future, Haller hopes to go into government work in order to address social issues in America. She is particularly passionate about LGBTQ+ rights. For now, though, she hopes to make a positive impact on her community through her service work with the Mount Scholars program.