My first semester at OSU was incredible in the social aspect of building a network, but mostly in the academic aspect. That is why my third artifact is “The Dean’s List.”
My whole life I have struggled with my perfectionism. My need to be perfect in all aspects is truly quite toxic; however, in certain realms, it is my motivator. This is such with my academics. If my grades are not perfect, I get angry with myself. Thus creating a terrible mindset for myself. After receiving a 4.0 GPA my first semester, I was ecstatic, but also gave it a shrug of my shoulders as “this is just what I am supposed to do.” This semester, I am teaching myself that this is not the case.
Earning a perfect GPA in college is no easy task. It requires hours of dedicated focus, stress, and organization. It is an honor and something of which to be incredibly proud. Accepting that this is not what is expected was not easy for me as it was just something I expected from myself. This new year, 2019, though, I’m trying to teach myself to be okay with not being perfect. There is no need to add stress upon the already stressful acts of college by exhibiting anxious behaviors for a task that can be done without them. With this, I am pushing myself to work hard, but not to put as much weight upon every task that I do. I am trying to reach my goals without the utter fear of the slightest failure. By doing this, I alleviate tons of pressure from each day while still striving for the same goal. I am learning that while I am capable of completing another semester with a 4.0, it is not the end of the world if I end with a 3.5. My goal is to be happy with being on the Dean’s List, even if that means having a lower than perfect GPA. This is coming from my journey to self-acceptance, self-love, and self-compassion. I am working on reaching my goals without putting my mental health at stake, and I am proud of myself for this and so much more. This is a long journey and it is what the second semester is all about for me.