One thing that should be stressed in high school is that college is not a joke. When I was still in high school, I used to believe that, because I had been successful through my senior year, I WOULD be successful in college. Now, I realize that while I COULD be successful, there are no guarantees about anything anymore. Entering Ohio State, I generally did not have much confidence in myself, but I did at least assume that I would be able to survive college; I was naïve enough to think that I could just walk into Ohio State and let everything just work out. Reality hit hard.

Adjusting to the rigor of college has been difficult for me. I have especially struggled with letting go of wanting to make everything perfect. Even writing this essay is a struggle for me in that I want everything to connect perfectly; I want everything to sound exactly right. One way that I have tried to address this has been to seek out professional counseling. I am just getting started with this, however, so the results have not yet been astonishing. Another, more immediately impactful, solution has been to get to know my TAs and my lecturers. Having my teachers know who I am, beyond just my name, provides me comfort in the sense that I know that there is somebody out there who understands what I am going through. What has been great about this is that, so far, the professors and advisers whom I have reached out to have been extremely empathetic towards my case. Because I have reached out to my instructors, I have been able to develop a better feel for what they expect out of me for various assignments; this has made it easier to let go of some of the things that I had obsessed about before. While my battle with making everything perfect is far from over, I have at least started on the path that will led me to a more fulfilling lifestyle.

At the beginning of the semester, I had been considering a path as a chemical engineer or as a computer scientist. I was also giving some consideration to a career as a financial planner because I was drawn to the ability to directly help other people and because I am more drawn to quantitative fields than to other areas of education. Because of these interests, I decided to attend the lectures hosted by the College of Engineering, the Division of Natural and Mathematical Sciences of the College of Arts and Sciences, and the Fisher College of Business. My hope had been that the lecture hosted by the College of Engineering would provide more insight into what chemical engineering and computer science could offer. Chemical engineering had been a consideration of mine based on my experience in my high school chemistry class; computer science was a new interest of mine that had been sparked, in part, from an attraction to the growing nature of the field. I also wanted to explore other possibilities in engineering because the classes that I was in were almost entirely for engineering. So, I wanted to see if the path that I was on was really for me; I was looking for some reassurance. Next, the Natural and Mathematical Sciences Lecture was a lecture that I attended, in part, because I had previously been interested in Data Analytics. This interest had been based on the interest in statistics that I had developed in my high school statistics class. The presentation given by the Fisher College of Business had been of interest to me because my parents had encouraged me to explore the business world and because of my interest in financial advising.

Now, at the end of the semester, I realize that the lecture that has had the biggest impact on me so far has been the Natural and Mathematical Sciences Lecture. Specifically, this lecture made me aware that there are multiple options for majoring in computer science. This was helpful because I am now considering becoming a physical therapist. Therefore, rather than majoring in Computer Science and Engineering, I am planning on majoring in Computer Information Systems with a BA through the College of Arts and Sciences. Such a path would make it easier to major in computer science, which is interesting to me right now, while taking the prerequisites for physical therapy school. Finally, because I am interested in physical therapy, I attended the lecture hosted by the Education and Human Ecology Department. Getting into physical therapy school is my goal right now because I am drawn to the connections that I could form with patients as I help them down their road to recovery. The Education and Human Ecology Lecture gave me more information about a possible major in exercise science, which might be the path I take if computer science doesn’t work out. I also want to attend the lecture hosted by the School of Health and Rehabilitation Services. This lecture will hopefully give me a better understanding of all of my options in the healthcare industry.

My interest in physical therapy has shifted the focus of my studies. I had originally been considering something in an engineering field. Now, I feel that that decision was largely based on the salary of the jobs and a desire to be able to say that I had some sort of direction in my life. However, now when I consider a career as a computer scientist, I can’t help but imagine that I would want more interaction with the outside world than that job would offer. While I still am thinking about majoring in Computer Science because it seems interesting, being a computer scientist forever is not what I want to do. Computer Science, as a major, is appealing because of the number of things that you can create with some knowledge of computer science. However, what I really want to do with my life is to feel as though I am making a difference for someone else. I think that the best way for me to do that is to work directly with people. So, while the salary of a physical therapist certainly is still attractive, I also like that such a job would allow me to directly impact someone else’s life. This matches up with the “Social” interest of mine that my Holland Code identified. Specifically, people whose top results for their Holland include “Social” typically find satisfaction in helping other people, making the health field suitable for them.

Discovering that there was more than one option for majoring in computer science also gave me the chance to consider a college other than the College of Engineering. I think that this was important because, since I started out in FEH, I was beginning to feel trapped in engineering. This was because I did not want to start from square one again, yet all of my current classes are for engineering. Learning that there were more options available for me has allowed me to once again feel like I have some breathing room. This extra breathing room has allowed me to really consider what is the best path for me to become a physical therapist. As a result, next semester, I will be able to explore new areas of education with a biology class, while still taking a computer science class. This way, I can begin exploring the health field, while exploring computer science at the same time.

While the college lectures have given me some breathing room in terms of my perceived options, I wish that the lectures had given me more specific information on careers that result from majors in each college. I appreciated the student panels that were present and the information about how each student knew how a major was right for them. However, I feel that more information about what options a specific major provides after college is also very important in deciding what to study. So, if I could change one thing about the lectures, I would put a greater emphasis on what a degree through a specific college means after college. For example, the panel from each college could try to focus more on specific projects that have been completed by graduates from the college. This might paint a better picture about what a real job looks like.

As I continue to explore my options, my focus for next semester is to either confirm my interest in computer science or to cross computer science off of my list. This is because I will be in an introductory computer science class. So, I expect that, by the end of the year, I will know whether or not I really have an interest in computer science. I also would like to look further into the field of physical therapy to determine whether it is a field that will suit me later on. Along those lines, I hope to take advantage of my chance to shadow a professional who is a physical therapist. Since my mom works for The Promedica Health System, she has connections to physical therapists. Through these connections, I hope to develop a better understanding of what I could do as a physical therapist and what my work would really look and feel like.

Looking back on these past few months, I really wish that I could tell myself just how important it would be to figure out how to put less stress on myself about being perfect in school. If I knew how bad it could really get, I would like to think that I would have done something differently to stop myself from letting the situation get so out of control. Sometimes I just wish that I could put things in perspective before I let myself get overwhelmed by it all. So, if I could give myself one piece of advice, I would tell myself to attack each problem bit by bit, rather than turning everything into a monster that is larger than life.