How Pickup Line?

How are pick-up lines used? What makes them effective?

Written by Emily Benton

Women are most typically the recipients of pick-up lines. My interview with my mother, Nina Benton, supports this. Nina is proof of an effective direct pick-up line, as her twenty-four-year marriage began in a bar with the infamous line “would you like to dance?”.

Pick-up lines are used in a variety of settings. One example is the situation Mrs. Benton discusses. She showed up to a country-western bar with the intention of dancing the night away with her friends. However, as soon as she walked in the bar, she was approached and asked to dance. This was an effectively used pick-up line, as the pick-up line started the conversation that allowed her to meet her future husband. Pick-up lines are used in person, as well as digitally. Digitally they are used on dating sites and social media. Anywhere you can find people interacting, you can find pick-up lines, however, the type of pick-up line used varies.

Nina Benton on her wedding day with her husband, Rob Benton.

When women are looking for a potential mate, they are either looking for someone to engage in a short term or long term relationship. When looking for a short term relationship, women find traits such as attractiveness and masculinity important. When looking for a long term relationship, women place importance in traits such as intelligence, compassion, and reliability. When comparing the types of pick-up lines used, direct and innocuous lines are more effective than flippant lines. This was proven in An Evolutionary Perspective on Effective vs. Ineffective Pick-up Lines and is supported by my interview with Mrs. Benton. I asked her to reflect on her time in the dating scene.

Mrs. Benton said she didn’t believe she would ever fall for a “cheesy” or flippant pick-up line, and she didn’t believe any of her friends would either. Mrs. Benton said that it was more attractive to her to have a conversation instead of hearing a pick-up line. This aligns with what the research claims. Those looking for a long-term relationship prefer someone who avoids flippant pick-up lines.

In the dating world, pick-up lines are obviously effective. They strike up conversation and begin an interaction between two people. However, the type of pick-up line that is effective is dependent on what the women is looking for and the type of pick-up line used.