Welcome to my Honors & Scholars e-Portfolio

Hello! My name is Amanda Fitzpatrick, and I’d like to personally, and enthusiastically, welcome you to my page! I’m a freshman at The Ohio State University, and I am a part of the STEM EE Scholars program. I have a great love of science, developed through years of science classes and science fiction, and I’m majoring in physics and astrophysics in the hope of learning more about our world and others, hopefully in an institution like NASA or another space exploration group such as Space-X. Over the year, on this blog, you will see me post things about my experiences here at Ohio State and as part of the STEM program. You’ll learn about my G.O.A.L.S., my artifacts, my future plans for my life and my career, and you’ll hear all about the best parts of my year. I can’t wait to share it with you! Thanks for visiting!

 

Year in Review

When I first came to Ohio State, I was scared. Terrified, even. I was shy, I had major self-esteem issues left over from high school, I was lonely, and my confidence was pretty low. I was hopeful for the year, but I still didn’t exactly feel ready. Now, while I still have a lot of the same issues, I can confront them. I’m no longer afraid of facing my own issues. Or, more accurately, I’m now brave enough to recognize those fears, and face them anyway. This change was made possible by my experiences this year, both in Scholars, and the university as a whole. I think one of my most important experiences in Scholars was at the beginning of the year, on a ropes obstacle course, of all things. More specifically, a terrifying ropes course thirty and fifty feet in the air. I was terrified. I screamed – a lot – and cried in frustration many times. The important thing is that I didn’t quit. I could have, and I didn’t. I kept going. I’m not even sure why I did. I think I was just trying to prove to myself that I could. When I got to the zip-line at the end, I felt a great sense of accomplishment, not just because I finished, but because I didn’t quit. Another important experience for me came a month later, when circumstances forced me to move to a new room. My roommate and I had argued for weeks, but when the time finally came to talk to the hall director, I found myself, suddenly, much more confident in myself and mature about the situation than I had been even the day before. While it was a very difficult situation, it was an important step for me towards greater emotional maturity.

Very early in the first semester, I also found myself in a new church. I have been to church before. Not as much as I would like, but I have been to church many times. H2O is unlike any church I’ve ever been to. The people are amazing and welcoming, and I have made incredible friends. I have grown as a Christian and as a person, as I have watched people bare their hearts to each other, sharing their stories, from the most ordinary childhood, to the most traumatic relationships. Each and every one of the people in my Bible study team and small group has become family to me, and I admire each of them more than I can say for their commitment to the Gospel, and their love of the Word, and of each other. It really is incredible to witness, especially when you hear the entire audience singing at service. Their is no judgement, and no fear. I will miss them all dearly over the summer.

The most important experience of all lasted all year (though it only ranks above the church due to a much greater time commitment), and brought me a lot of frustration, but also great friends, fantastic memories, and a much improved sense of time management. I joined the Medieval and Renaissance Faire Performers’ Guild. I participated in multiple sub-guilds, had practices multiple times a week, and, in the second semester, joined Council – which plans the fair – on top of everything else. I laughed (a lot) and cried (also a lot), I danced and sang and fought with a sword once a week, and I had more fun in one fight practice than I had in months at high school (not including my wonderful choir from back then, of course). Despite some occasional misgivings, the other members of the Renaissance Guild have become like family, and they have given me a great boost of confidence, one which I desperately needed.

My experiences this year have taught me a lot. One – fear and cowardice are two very different things. Two – if you want people to care about you, you must show that you care about them. Three – if you act confident, eventually you will be confident. Four – the most important thing a person can have, that will shape them more than anything else, is a friend. Our friends make us who we are. A word from them can make us shine, or break us apart. When you find the right friends, hold onto them for all you’re worth. That’s what I’ve learned this year. And I’m a better person for it.

G.O.A.L.S.

[ “G.O.A.L.S.” is a place where students write about how their planned, current, and future activities may fit into the Honors & Scholars G.O.A.L.S.: Global Awareness, Original Inquiry, Academic Enrichment, Leadership Development, and Service Engagement. For more information, go to: http://honors-scholars.osu.edu/e-portfolio. Delete these instructions and add your own post.

Global Awareness: Students cultivate and develop their appreciation for diversity and each individual’s unique differences. For example, consider course work, study abroad, involvement in cultural organizations or activities, etc .
Original Inquiry: Honors & Scholars students understand the research process by engaging in experiences ranging from in-class scholarly endeavors to creative inquiry projects to independent experiences with top researchers across campus and in the global community. For example, consider research, creative productions or performances, advanced course work, etc.
Academic Enrichment: Honors & Scholars students pursue academic excellence through rigorous curricular experiences beyond the university norm both in and out of the classroom.
Leadership Development: Honors & Scholars students develop leadership skills that can be demonstrated in the classroom, in the community, in their co-curricular activities, and in their future roles in society.
Service Engagement: Honors & Scholars students commit to service to the community.]

Career

[“Career” is where you can collect information about your experiences and skills that will apply to your future career.  Like your resume, this is information that will evolve over time and should be continually updated.   For more information, go to: http://honors-scholars.osu.edu/e-portfolio. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]

Artifacts

https://www.facebook.com/mrpgosu/videos/983056388448756/

The video attached to this link is a video taken during a practice for the Medieval and Renaissance Faire Performers’ Guild. It might not look like much here, but along with all of the running about, I learned a lot in my time with the organization this year. My classes all taught me what I need to know for my career. The Renaissance Guild taught me about leadership, responsibility, and time management. It also showed me that I had value outside of the classroom, much like my choir did in high school. The friends I’ve made might be rambunctious, even crude at times, but they’ve come to be like family, and my time with them has made me a better person this year.

About Me

ePortfolio

Human beings are very complex. Our minds work in so many different ways, and every moment we live through impacts us in so many ways, both when the moment happens, and long after it’s done. We are shaped and changed by so many things, that it can be difficult to tell what really makes a person who they are in the present. My name is Amanda Fitzpatrick. I am a freshman studying physics and astrophysics at The Ohio State University. I’m a singer, a reader, a scientist, a Christian, and so many other things all rolled into one. That is who I am now. How I became that person is a long story, and to tell all of it would take a lifetime, because the story never really ends. But I suppose I have to start somewhere. Perhaps it would be best to start at the beginning. We all have a story. This is mine.

When I was a little girl, I was a little girl like any other. I was bright, happy, and a bit shy, but with a loving family, a good house, a playmate across the street, and a couple of pets. Normal, simple, happy life. I suppose the first change was when my parents split up, and later got divorced. My mom and I moved from Dayton to little Troy, Ohio, right down the street from my great-grandparents. I started the first grade at age seven not long after. I remember going down to my great-grandparents’ house every day after school, eating cookies and baking with grandma. I remember a few school friends, not many, but a few. I remember one of my mom’s boyfriends yelling at her, and I remember physically pushing him out the door. I remember his deaf son, who was kind despite his father. Aside from that, my time in Troy was unremarkable. Until near the end of it. My mom’s last boyfriend moved in with us. He’s my stepdad now. I remember him making her happier than I’d ever seen her, and I remember loving him for it. That last year in Troy was the best, until the end. In September of 2006, right after my tenth birthday, my great-grandpa had a stroke. He was dead a month later. His death, while sad, is what first brought me closer to God. He made me a Christian, rather than just a kid who went to church every Sunday because they have to. Not long after his death, we moved to Hilliard, Ohio, away from everything I had ever known. At first, of course, I was devastated. I had friends in Troy. I didn’t want to leave. The move turned out to be the biggest tipping point of my life, because it brought so many other things, good and bad, with it.

Right after the move, I was very shy, and I had a lot of trouble making new friends. Luckily for me, there was someone else in my class going through the same thing. Natalia Sorenson. We had similar interests, we both loved to read, and we were both alone. She was a God-send. Now that I think back on it, I wonder if she really was, figuratively and literally. I don’t know what I would have done without her in the years to follow. Now, after that year, she was homeschooled until we reached high school, so I was alone again during school, but she lived so close that it didn’t really matter. By the sixth grade, I had finally managed to make some more friends, and I got started on the accelerated math track with pre-algebra. Sixth grade wasn’t too bad. Middle school, on the other hand, was torture. My classes were fine, for the most part, and I got started on the accelerated science track seventh grade. My fellow students, on the other hand, were pure evil. Or at least that was how it felt at the time. Not only that, but I still had very few friends, so I didn’t really have anyone to defend me, either. Luckily, middle school ended, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now, before I move on to high school, I should mention one very important detail about the sixth grade. You see, that was the year that I started singing in the Columbus Children’s Choir, which, to be perfectly honest, is probably the only reason I managed to get through middle school with my sanity intact. The choir was, and is, one of the most important aspects of my life, and deserves far more credit than I have time to give it.

Before I started high school, I expected it to be fantastic. I certainly expected it to be a little bit more pleasant than middle school. In some ways, it was. I had more opportunities, I was with my intellectual peers more, and I had a lot more fun outside of school with the choir, like in the Spain trip in 2014. Otherwise, high school was as bad as middle school. I had more friends than before, and those friends introduced me to many of my favorite shows and books and movies, but I also had more problems. There was so much more pressure to do everything right. So much so, that when I didn’t, I felt like I had failed. That, along with issues with a couple of friends in my senior year, led to a very low self-esteem. I still had confidence in myself, mostly from choir, but I often felt like I was stupid, or not good enough, like when everyone else in the class understood something and I didn’t. I wasn’t depressed, but I definitely wasn’t happy. Those issues are still present today. Those issues, and my limited social life in high school have led me to try to put myself out there more, to be more open and sociable. I think it’s helped, at least a little, though I doubt my problems are going to go away as quickly as I’d like them to.

Those issues, and trying to be more social, are at least part of why I wanted to join STEM. I knew that it would be an opportunity to make more friends, people with similar interests, who care about learning as much as I do (I may not have liked high school, but I still loved learning). I wanted opportunities to learn more about the world outside the classroom, to make new discoveries, to research, to explore the world from the perspective of a scientist. I’ve been excited by science for years. I’ve been curious and questioning since I was a child. I want to learn about our world, and other worlds, and I believed- I still believe- that STEM is the best way to do that. I’m still a Christian, a singer, a reader, and all of that, but I want to be a scientist. I want to love learning again, and be able to love it without feeling like I’m getting it all wrong. I’m most excited about Ohio State because it feels like a place where I can put all of the bad behind me and not just continue my story, but start a new one.

 

 

My Strengths

In taking the StrengthsFinder test, I found some things that I expected, and already knew were a part of me. I also found other things I did not expect, and there were some things missing which I had thought were integral parts of who I am. However, I have found that my strengths, despite my many neutral responses, seem to fit me much better than I had hoped. In order, from first to last, my top five strengths turned out to be input, intellection, connectedness, learner, and belief. Three of my strengths suit me very well (the ones related to matters of the mind), though the other two do not fit quite as well.

Input, intellection, and learner all fit into the StrengthsFinder category of strategic thinking. All three of these strengths are very similar, in that they all describe a love of knowledge and learning, and a tendency to get lost in a good book. They all describe me very well, both in my personal life and in school, as I have always loved learning itself, even if I haven’t always loved homework or the school experience. Connectedness fits into the relationship building category. I have never been the best with relationships, I thought. I was (and I still am, at least partially) an introvert. I’ve never been one to put myself out there and make conversation just for conversation’s sake. However, despite that, the connectedness strength fits me far better than I would have expected. For example, as the personalized strength insight says, I enjoy the company of people who have survived great challenges in life, and I benefit from the wisdom they gained from those experiences. I also feel refreshed after conversation with future-oriented thinkers (though, in fact, I think I may be one of them myself). Belief, my final strength, is in the executing category. My main connection with that strength, I think, is in how I view the world, and in my hope for humanity’s future.

I am not completely sure how all of my strengths fit into my everyday life right now. I know at least the three in the strategic thinking category play a huge role in academics. The other two play a role in what I think from a philosophical standpoint, and in the way I treat others. From an academic standpoint, my strengths, especially input, intellection, and learner, all help me to excel, as I enjoy learning in and of itself, and I can more easily take in and comprehend new information.

Now that I know my strengths, I am hopeful that I can take better advantage of them in my future career, though they do not change my plans for the future. In fact, they give me hope that those plans will come to fruition more easily than I had dared to hope before. I hope, through better use of my strengths, particularly the strategic thinking strengths, I can achieve more in my future career in physics. Those strengths in particular drive me to learn more about the world, and curiosity is what makes a scientist. Without curiosity, science wouldn’t happen at all, or, at least, we wouldn’t know about it. Connectedness can help me to connect more to the people that I will work with, to build relationships with the people I will go to for advice and counsel, on matters both professional and personal. Belief will help me give purpose to my work, outside of quenching my curiosity, which might be the most important point of all.