This is a list of things that I don’t do but wish I did, want to do but am scared to, or used to do and miss doing but don’t anymore. 

1. I want to learn a third language, but I’m afraid it will mess me up as I continue to learn Spanish simultaneously.

I want to learn a third language and I’m afraid it will mess me up as I continue to learn Spanish simultaneously; so I need to be prepared for a challenge and have faith in myself. 

2. I have a lot of books that I want to read, but it takes me a long time to finish just one since I am usually busy doing other things.

I have a lot of books that I want to read and it takes me a long time to finish just one since I am usually busy doing other things; so I should set aside specific times to read and get goals for myself of when to finish a book. 

3. I love speaking Spanish, but I get nervous when speaking to native speakers.

I love speaking Spanish, but I get nervous when speaking to native speakers; so I should make more of an effort to have conversations with my Spanish-speaking friends for practice. 

4. I miss doing art so much, but I always feel like there’s something more productive or social that I could be doing so I rarely do it anymore.

I miss doing art so much and I always feel like there’s something more productive or social that I could be doing so I rarely do it anymore; so I should find a way that I can do art in a social setting that works for me.

5. I feel like I need to do more physical activity, but as with everything else, I always feel like there’s something else that I have to or would rather do.

I feel like I need to do more physical activity and as with everything else, I always feel like there’s something else that I have to or would rather do; so I need to make an exercise plan and stick to it, and possibly find a workout buddy. 

“Would you mind if I asked about your tattoo?”

“It’s for the semicolon project. Midway through my junior year I basically had a really hard time and had a trauma that was really hard on me and I became suicidal. And I wanted to be able to talk about it and share with other people because we don’t talk about mental health enough. Even if most people who ask me don’t have experience like that, maybe one day someone will and they will not feel alone when maybe they did before… I like to think that one day my shitty experience will be able to help other people going through their own shitty experience. I hope that people see me- I think I look pretty normal, I mean I’m weird but I look normal- and feel normal cuz a lot of times people suffer in silence but normal people go through the same things as them; and think, oh maybe I should talk to someone about this.”

MY FIRST WEEK AT OHIO STATE

When picking a university, everyone tells high school seniors contemplating “big or small school?” the same thing: “You can make a big school small; but, you can’t make a small school big.” 

I always knew I did not want a small school, so I never really considered that advice. However, now that I’m here, I have a greater appreciation for how that’s true. (The catch is, nobody ever mentioned how hard it can be to do it.)

I know five people right now who I knew prior to my arrival on August 18th. They are my Ohio-native roommate, an acquaintance from my graduating class, a person I met at a brief luncheon in ATL for students going to Ohio State, a high school enemy from the year above me, and a girl who graduated from my high school when I was a freshman. Aside from them, I’ve met a handful of people through my roommate; a group of people that I found on my own at the Global Buckeye Celebration; a couple of other Morrill Scholars; a few familiar faces from orientation; and one girl at the first Body Sense meeting who introduced me to two of her friends.

So, small is definitely a good descriptor of my circle of “friends” who are, in reality, newfound acquaintances acting as substitutes for the people I’ve been close to for so long, both emotionally and geographically, but am now apart from.

While I do genuinely feel like I’m a lone wolf for the most part these days, I can’t necessarily say that it’s a negative thing.  And even though my social circle is way smaller than I’m used to, I can’t complain too much about the individuals of whom it is comprised.

As I mentioned in my, “About Me”, where I come from is very diverse. Ohio State is diverse by university standards, but when I look around general campus, I don’t recognize the same diversity that I’m used to. It’s more than just a personal observation, it’s a fact. The total OSU student body consists of about 18% minorities, which is only about 3% higher than the total percentage of white students in my high school. That’s not to say that if I stopped 100 people on the Oval to talk that I wouldn’t hear 100 unique stories, of course, but consider for a moment the wild degree of dissimilarity between the life of a Vietnamese immigrant and that of a caucasian born and raised in the US. Statistically, if I did in fact talk to 100 people on the Oval, I’d hear stories with much less degree of variation among them.

This is where the power to make a big school small comes in handy. 

I have the ability to more or less hand pick the people I spend time with, so I can create an environment for myself which more closely reflects the vibrant environment that I was a part of back in Smyrna. (OSU definitely has a vibrant environment on it’s own, though.) I really really appreciate that I can do that. (Side note: the reason that kind of environment is so special to me is that I spent kindergarten through eighth grade in exceedingly homogenous school environments, which kept my perspective pretty limited. Now, I very strongly prefer to engage in diverse environments that allow me to constantly learn new things and consider other opinions.)

Here’s a list of some ways I’ve made OSU what I want it to be (aka- an environment like my hometown):

The first Welcome Week event I attended was the Global Buckeye Celebration. To the onlooker, my wandering probably seemed aimless, but really the intent behind it was to fin just ONE person to become friends with. Right at the moment when I felt tears threatening to form in the backs of my eyes, the girl who I’ve since spent more quality time with than anyone else here asked me, “Are you looking for someone to talk to?” YES!!! I learned that she is from China, and she introduced me to four other people she knew, also immigrants from various Asian nations, and the five of us took an Uber to the women’s soccer opener.

My work-study job in the Spanish & Portuguese department allows me to interact with native speakers a lot (I even had a conversation with a Bolivian professor today & helped a woman over the phone in Spanish). I love the job because people come in and out of the office all day speaking Spanish and Spanglish (and Portuguese, which unfortunately is lost on me), and that exposure should help my language skills improve.

Some of the classes I’m taking lend pretty diverse environments. For example, my Latin Film Studies class which is being taken by many students of Hispanic descent, or my literature class on the Arabian Nights which many students of Middle Eastern/Indian Subcontinental descent (many are actually immigrants from those regions).

The Morrill Scholars program is notably diverse, especially with regard to sexuality and race. I went to a mingler event for the program and met a handful of people, none of whom shared the same backgrounds.