The Leavers, Deming is an abandoned child and then adopted. During his life, he has to figure out his true identity while facing his true self under a different culture. He is a rebel, with addiction problems. All of these are not only related to identity, being abandoned can also cause mental lasting mental issues to children just like Deming.
The first one that is very obvious is an abandoned child having poor coping strategies.(Audrey, 2017) People need to cope with pains or emotional changes in different ways. For the abandoned child living in a different environment, it’s hard for him to figure out what is a healthy way to cope with the pains and stress. As a result, gambling becomes his best option. There are multiple strategies but he chooses a way that’s not so wise. It shows that he does have poor coping strategies.
Also related to his gambling problem, abandoned children usually have compulsive behavior. (Audrey, 2017). His gambling problem is both addiction and compulsive behavior at the same time. By definition, compulsive behavior is the kind of insatiable urge to do something. Addiction is a need to do something to experience pleasure or remove discomfort.(integrativelifecenter.com, 2021) I think his gambling problem is actually both which mentions a lot of times in the book. This is also a lasting effect that we can observe as readers in the book.
The last one is Borderline personality disorder which is caused by a long-term pattern of unstable relationships.(Audrey, 2017) This is very easy to understand since his mother abandoned him. His rebel personality might also be caused by Borderline personality disorder. Usually, BPD comes with a strong fear of abandonment.
There is also another effect on child abandonment but I believe these are the most obvious ones relating to the book. We can tell that abandonment has a long-term effect on children, just like Deming in the book.
Citation: Sherman, A. (2021). 19 Lasting Effects of Abandoning or Emotionally Unavailable Parents. Psych Central. Retrieved 14 March 2021, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/dysfunction/2017/07/19-lasting-effects-of-abandoning-or-emotionally-unavailable-parents#3.
Health, B., & Different…, C. (2021). Compulsive Behaviors and Addiction | Mental Health Treatment. Integrative Life Center. Retrieved 14 March 2021, from https://integrativelifecenter.com/wellness-blog/compulsive-behaviors-and-addiction/.
It’s always interesting to hear about the effects that abandonment can have on a child a long time after it has happened. This post goes into great detail about the “lasting effects” of child abandonment. This is something that I feel needs to be addressed more in our culture as it is often overlooked since it is rather rare to happen in the US. The systems for adoption and things help, but there major mental obstacles that those children must overcome as they get older or else they risk having adverse effects in their future.
Hey Bailey! I really enjoyed your context presentation. Your research was spot on, and in my family, we have an adopted child who was abandoned by her birth parents in Russia. Even though she was young when my Aunt and Uncle adopted her, she experienced a lot of similar issues while navigating her new life in America and her identity. My Aunt and Uncle remind me of Deming’s adopted parents as far as their expectations for my cousin to embrace an American lifestyle and to just “forget” about where she came from. I think if they would have allowed her to embrace both and supported her quest for identity, that she would have had an easier time growing up. She is currently struggling in adulthood but hopefully we be on a path to resolution soon.
Hi Bailey! I really enjoy your work. Undoubtedly childhood memories will affect people a lot. Tragically experienced people spend their whole lives healing from their childhood. I feel bad when I read this story, cause he had to face so many things( Abandoned by his own mother and had to live in a strange environment) when he was just a child. So it’s not hard to imagine him confused about his identity after he grew up.
Hi Bailey! This is a really interesting post! Everything you mentioned makes sense but I hadn’t put together how addiction and compulsive behavior correlates to abandonment. I also hadn’t known being abandoned as a child was correlated to borderline personality disorder. I think it is really important to raise awareness about these correlations because it helps foster parents and adoptive parents know and understand what to look for in children that may fit into these risk groups. Great post!
Hey Bailey! This is a really informative post and I think you did a great job relating our fictional read, “The Leavers”, with real world issues regarding abandonment and mental health. I had some sort of idea the issues abandonment could lead to, but its really interesting to see the statistics regarding compulsive behavior, borderline personality disorder, etc. Good job!
Hi Bailey,
I enjoyed your post. To me, I believe that by showing how if a child feels abandoned at a young age can potentially cause problems down the road. Deming struggles with identity and self hate due o not only being abandoned but by having to give up an identity after his adoption. These coping mechanisms were his way to attempt to feel whole. Also, they probably were a way to help him forget his troubles by creating new ones.
It is very sad to see the long term issues that abandonment can have on children. This post clearly explained these effects and also connected them to Deming and his life in the novel. It is interesting that Deming’s behavior is an example of both an addictive and compulsive behavior. I had not considered that prior to this post. Great presentation!
Hey Bailey, I think you touched upon a very important topic. Even though Deming was lucky enough to have a good set of foster parents, he did have to through the foster system and having to live with multiple families. To make matters worse, he witnessed and experienced abandonment from his mom (he wasn’t too young to not remember). as you said, “People need to cope with pains or emotional changes in different ways.” I think Deming found his way by wasting money. It would’ve been great to see people in his life recognize this and help him through it. This is why mental health awareness is so important. Thanks for touching on this very important topic.
Peidong,
I really learned a lot from reading your context research presentation. it is very obvious that abandoned children experience many challenges and hardships throughout their lives. The three you hit on are all things I have personally experienced from witnessing my friends who were abandoned. One question I was left with after reading the presentation was to what extent do they exhibit these character flaws after being abandoned. In other words would they have struggled with these traits regardless of if they were abandoned or not? Thanks for sharing!
Hi!
Wow you did a really great job of breaking down the actions of Deming and showing how abandonment really does affect him long term. Thankfully, I have my mother and father who are wonderful people. But I really feel for those who feel as though they are abandoned and lost. I think it is pretty evident that much of Deming’s poor behavior is brought on by this in his childhood, such as his abandonment, that he has yet to face and deal with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective! I really enjoyed reading your post!
The analysis of how abandonment could have a long-term impact on a child is really impressive. I have one friend who is adopted, but it is fortunate that she is quite healthy physically and mentally. But I am impressive that Borderline personality disorder will impact adoptive children. I think parents should ways think if they are able to raise a child or not before giving birth to children.