The Leavers by Lisa Ko follows the story of a young boy named Deming Guo. When Deming’s Mother leaves and he ends up in a foster home, Deming, who is an Asian-American, is forced to deal with many cultural differences between the traditional Chinese parenting styles that he experienced as a child versus those of his foster parents. Now, we will look at a few traditional Chinese parenting cultures to help us better understand some of the changes Deming experienced.
One example of a difference between US and Chinese parenting styles is the perceived strictness and emphasis on academics by Chinese parents. Deming is seen as someone that is supposed to be good at math and is labeled with this stereotype because of the accomplishments of those who look like him. This stereotype is believed to have come from the fact that Chinese parents are often seen as parenting with a more authoritarian style (Parentingscience.com 2019). This obviously is not always the case, but being somewhat authoritarian as a parent is seen as less taboo in Asian cultures compared to Western cultures.
Another example of a cultural difference is the traditional Chinese emphasis on the family unit and the defined roles of said unit. According to (Scroope 2017), Chinese families often adopt the Confucian view of families which focusses on the importance of maintaining a good family relationship. This would be difficult for Deming as he struggled to have a close relationship with his biological family.
Finally, Chinese parents tend to do more for their children and prepare less for them developing independence. As we learn early on, Deming fends for himself quite often. This cultural taboo would have made Deming an outlier in comparison to other Chinese families.
Deming was not raised in a traditional Chinese family, however these cultural differences still presented obstacles for Deming to overcome. Cultural differences can always create barriers
Work Cited:
“American and Chinese Parenting Styles.” American and Chinese Parenting Styles | International Programs, 29 Aug. 2011, https://international.uiowa.edu/news/american-and-chinese-parenting-styles#:~:text=Confucian%20culture&text=Chinese%20parents%20want%20their%20children,bring%20honor%20to%20the%20family.
Dewar, Gwen. “Traditional Chinese Parenting.” What Research Says about Successful Chinese Kids, Feb. 2019, https://www.parentingscience.com/chinese-parenting.html
Scroope, Chara, and Nina Evason. “Chinese Culture – References.” Cultural Atlas, 2017, https://culturalatlas.sbs.com.au/chinese-culture/chinese-culture-family#chinese-culture-family
This is incredible information and understanding between the differences between the United States and China’s way of cultural differences. The way that I think about it would be that I agree with what you are saying because compared to them U.S. and the China; sadly a structure is made for Chinese people being good at math, having a high academic understanding, defined within their family as units, and being set up to have less of an independent; while Americans kind of have to opposite of what is structure for China. With this information it allows me to see the such drastic difference between the two a they can affect an individual’s way of living very much.
This topic is great in terms of our reading. Since we are reading about Chinese immigrants and parenting, it is great to get a general idea of what we could possibly expect from a “typical” Chinese family. It is good to contrast this with what we are reading to fully undersatand how different our characters are from regular norms.
This is one of those things that gets unnoticed. The children become like a stereotypical target. Then when they don’t meet the standard they are shamed and put down. This is important to understand that everyone is different, and that a single story should not be inflicted on someone. Unfortunately it is done with everyone, and that causes a lot of disappointment. But this helps us understand the parents in this reading.
This was a great topic for your presentation. The shift within parental cultures between Deming’s biological family and adopted family serves as a challenge and barrier within his life. Like you mentioned, stereotypes also have a large effect on how a child is viewed and how they view themselves. Moving to a new area with a new family was bound to be difficult for Deming due to these stereotypes and parental differences. Good job!
This post provided good insight into the cultural differences between American and Chinese parenting. There are definitely a lot of stereotypes when it comes to this topic. However, I do think it is important for parents to have an authoritarian style when raising their kids. Sometimes too little parenting forces the child to fend for them self at a very young age.