Just when I thought my exhaustion level couldn’t reach a higher peak, it happened!

Monday:
I was already exhausted by Monday. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. Nothing was different really. My class and work schedule was the same. The only difference being one of my students asked me to cover his shift, in a department that I don’t even work in. I got my first Philosophy quiz back, and got a 14/25. So that was emotionally comforting. I was excited to leave work at 5 so I could go home and take a nap. However, my student is working very hard to be a drum major for The Best Damn Band in the Land, and if I can help him reach his goal, I will do all that I can. Long story short, I worked it out with his boss and I am now proctoring a Distance Learning Business class for Business majors on Monday nights from 5-6:50 for the next month or so, until TBDBITL practices end.

Tuesday:
I overslept, and was almost late to my ASL tutoring, but my tutor also overslept…so it worked out. Great start right…wrong. I had to skip my chiropractor appointment (3rd one in a row) due to meetings at campus. I had a brief break and attempted to type up my papers for Political Science. I managed to get them finished. After that I had a Habitat meeting to discuss details for our meeting on Friday, and our trip in March. After that meeting, I had to rush across campus because my next meeting changed locations at the last minute. I met with Marketing for the upcoming “Love” campaign to talk about the things I love at campus, and what I have enjoyed during my time at OSU. Immediately after the meeting, I had to rush to ASL, had a 30 minute break, and had to head to Political Science, where the professor decided to bump our papers, conveniently, to Thursday! I ended my night with a late (another!) meeting as we were interviewing our candidates for the American Sign Language Student Organization Outreach officer position. It was great meeting with the ladies and planning out some details for this semester.

Wednesday:
Had a quiz in Sociology and didn’t do well. 10 question quizzes can really fuck you up quickly! I missed 3/10 and ended up with a C, thank God 1 quiz will be dropped. I left Sociology for my student’s Comp Studies class, which was just a hot mess. I can’t even begin to start on where that Hot Mess train even began! Went to work, and then to Philosophy. Around 3ish, Hunter, Abbey and I all headed up to Columbus for Piper Kerman’s (author, Orange is the New Black) talk and book signing. She was awesome, and very nice. We were the first people in line to get her autograph and picture so we finished much quicker than we thought. She asked me what my “Juice” hat meant, so I tweeted her the link to the song, and she liked my tweet. 🙂

Thursday:
Started the day off studying for my ASL first unit quiz, and the culture quiz. I did pretty well, and even surprised myself. I ended up getting 100 on the culture quiz, and a 15/20 on the Unit 11 quiz. I knew I wasn’t going to do well after I forgot some signs from ASL 1101 that were used, that we haven’t used since early ASL 1102, but I passed, and still have a B in the class, so… After tutoring, I had work, and amazingly enough I finally had a student show to my tutor session! My time was not wasted, and glad I could help the student out. After ASL, I rushed over to Political Science class to get ready for our quizzes, and for my group review activity. We did pretty well, but for some reason a simple game seemed to be too hard to comprehend, even with very simple instructions written on the board. Rushing to class was pointless. We waited for 15 minutes and decided to leave. The professor called one of the students and mentioned he was in an accident and was cancelling the class we already cancelled. Hope he is ok, even if he is an offensive, inappropriate, racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic asshole. After leaving Poli Sci I hit the cafeteria to grab some dinner, ate half the pizza before I paid, went to pay, opened my wallet and realized I took my card and money out of it Wednesday night so I wouldn’t spend money. Thankfully Melissa came and bailed me out. I was so embarrassed. After Melissa’s rescue, we went over to watch Deep Water Horizon, and we all ended up hanging outside of the auditorium instead. I wanted to see the movie, just as something to destress and have a mental break. It was definitely needed.

Friday:
I had to get up a bit earlier, as Jamie asked me to help Shanon at Buckeye Visit Day. It was a really great one. The students were so positive, and we had a lot of them that could apply to the Engineering Learning Community and the Buckeye Generation Learning Community for next year. Looking back, I am now disappointed because I kept saying my coworkers and I will be mentoring you, and only Coryn will be here in the Fall. It’s a bit depressing thinking of it, but also exciting because we will all be starting a new journey. I finally was able to meet with Jamie about a decision on which master’s program I will be pursuing at Walden University. She suggested that I pursue the General Program in Higher Education, but to also see if I can take the two additional courses in the Leadership and Student Success master’s, to see if I can get a dual master’s or at least to be able to claim a specialization in Leadership and Student Success, since they only have two additional courses that the General Program does not have. My goal is to submit my application next week. I am scheduling an additional appointment with Jamie to plan out what skills I need in Higher Education that I don’t have…that I can start working on obtaining before the end of Summer. We had our office meeting, and things went pretty well. Rushed to Philosophy with about 4 minutes to spare. I think today was the first day of class that I think I actually understood what was going on, but when I responded, I felt like an idiot and everything I said made no sense to him or me. This class is brutal! It’s challenging, and I think that’s actually why I am enjoying it more now. I do not like failing at anything, and this is challenging me to do better. We had our first Habitat meeting of the semester, and surprisingly finished much earlier. Thankfully due to a planned agenda, and being able to keep people focused. I ended up missing yet another chiropractor appointment (make that 4 now!). I came home and relaxed to Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies. I actually enjoyed it. It wasn’t meant to be a great movie. It was meant to be a comedic, B-rated horror-comedy, adaptation of the original. I was surprised that they made Mr. Bingley more attractive than Mr. Darcy…that’s not ok!

99 Days til Graduation!

The lyrics from REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling” has inspired this post. 7 long years are coming to a close more and more every day.

I have spent this past weekend getting my Passion Planner in order to stay organized for these upcoming four months.

I managed to print off all of my documents, except for the PowerPoints, for my final ASL course. It’s going to be weird to have a few of our cohort members no longer with us for our final course, including my hippy-mermaid friend, Ms. Sarah Gray. We also have 1 or 2 new students joining us for ASL 1103. I am pretty nervous about the course because it is all conversation, and no new vocab. The dialogue part is my weakness, and I need to improve my skills in this area if I plan to be successful. I’d like to shoot for another B grade, but I think a C is more realistic due to my struggles in the retention of conversations in my head, and then translating that into a response that makes sense, but more importantly is an accurate response to the conversation. I did manage to get at least the first month of the semester tutor sessions scheduled. I am waiting on my tutor to get back with me if the remaining semester hours will work for her.

None of my other classes have posted on Carmen yet, and classes begin tomorrow. I don’t like being unprepared for the first day of classes. I can’t even view syllabi which doesn’t help me read in advance to stay ahead. Frustrating. I am going to crack the books open tonight so that at least I have an idea of what the texts read like.

I was supposed to have an appointment with Career Services on Friday, but it got rescheduled for this Tuesday. I still need to review my resume and cover letter and send it to Derek Thatcher so he can review it prior to our meeting. My goal today is to update my resume, cover letter, and my CV, and send it to him today.

Although I have only had 5 actual days of a 3 week break, I am eager to get back into my normal, hectic routine. However, I did drop quite a few obligations, so that should free me up more to focus more on classes, destress (if that’s even an option), to have time for myself, and time to make for friends and family.

Goals for today:
Update resume, cover letter, and CV
Sell Blair my living room furniture set
Grocery shop
Clean house
Pay bills
Browse class books

In 2011, I was blessed to attend a national conference in Florida. Our campus covered the costs for a handful of specially selected students, and yours truly was one of those students. At this conference, the guest speaker was a man named Jason Connell. I had never heard of him, but was blown away but his speaking engagement on the final day of the conference. I was also one of the lucky winners of his contest where he gave each winner a copy of the book “Think Big”, which inspired him. Over the years, I have kept contact with him through his monthly emails where he provided inspirational, motivational words. In 2014, he sent out an email, that I still have, printed off in hard copy.

In 2015, I promised myself I would do this. I didn’t. In 2016, I promised myself I would do this. I didn’t. In 2017, I promised myself I AM DOING THIS! So I did, and here it is:

As I look back on 2016, I can’t really think of anything that went terribly bad. There were so many celebrity deaths that took a toll on me. As much as they were people I enjoyed, and looked up to, people whom as a child I would watch on tv or listen to on the radio, my cassette tapes, and even my Sony Disc Walkman. Ultimately though, I didn’t know them personally but they still held a large part of my youth, my young adult, and even my adulthood development.

I look at this personal review of 2016 as a way of getting rid of the past, so I can focus on my present, and prepare for my future.

Victories

The first memory of 2016 that comes to mind, is when WYES PBS New Orleans aired our two Mardi Gras Indian documentaries. I was blessed to actually be a part of “The Spirit Leads My Needle” documentary, where I was able to interview a variety of Mardi Gras Indian chiefs. Then in 2015, I was able to help edit, and do closed-captioning for the “It’s Your Glory” documentary on the Mardi Gras Indians queens. Our campus covered our costs of travel, lodging, and a few meals. The extra slice of this cake, was being able to spend my birthday in this beautiful city that has captivated my heart, mind, body, and soul in ways that I never thought anything could ever do.

The first day of 2016, I spent it with my closest friends from freshman year. We all went out to dinner at Kanji and then went to the Columbus Zoo for Wildlights. It was great spending time with all of us together again. It had been at least 4 years since we all were together.

Thanks to OSU Student Advocacy who covered my tuition and book costs for 1 more semester. My boss really came through for me. I am always thankful for her everyday for showing that it isn’t just a job for her. She sincerely cares for her employees, and the students on campus as well.

I got to spend a week in Atlanta with a great group of students, many who have since became good friends. We helped out a few families through the Habitat for Humanity Collegiate Challenge. I served as the President, and helped inspire service work during Spring Break. We had a great time, and still laugh at all the nonsense we did, and of course the importance of giving back to others in need.

In July, I got to spend a week with my best friend Ryan for his birthday in Key West, and in Ft. Lauderdale. As usual, we had our ups and downs, laughed like crazy, and reconnected for the first time in person since I moved from Florida in 2009. We had a brief fight, but we managed to solve the issue. We are basically like brothers so never stay mad at each other for too long. The best part of the trip wasn’t just the fact of spending time with him, but seeing that he is truly happy after so many years of seeing him struggle. He is doing quite well for himself, and this couldn’t make me more happier!

Another highlight of 2016 was when I found out our documentaries were nominated for an Emmy. I was literally blown away with this news and honestly thought my professor/advisor/mentor was punking me. I realized she wasn’t, and was in a blissful disbelief state for a while. Although we didn’t win an Emmy, we did win the approval of the Mardi Gras Indians, and that alone was enough.

I was approached by one of my former professors to be one of her research assistants, with one of my friends from the same class, on a very new, interesting, controversial project. I can’t wait for this new adventure.

We beat Bitchigan in the OSU VS Xichigan game. We went into double overtime. Thankfully I had enough beverages to get me through!

My friends keep giving me things every time I visit them: a new living room set (I finally got rid of that monstrously heavy couch- that I really loved, but can’t handle due to my health restrictions), a Keurig, a flat screen tv, clothes, Oakley shades, Beats, and assorted other items, in addition to feeding me every time I visit. A fat kid loves to eat! But seriously, it’s great hanging out with them, and being able to help them out when they’re in need, because I know they would do the same for me.

In August, we held a leadership conference at the OSU Newark campus. It was small, but really great. It was an honor to meet and greet fellow leaders from all over the state of Ohio.

In August, I was asked to be a part of the panel to speak at Convocation for OSU Freshmen. It was an honor, and a great deal of stress. Normally when I am on stage I can stand and move around. I was in a chair so my anxiety didn’t do well that day.

In late August, a few friends and I attended a student government leadership conference at Columbus campus. It was a joke, but we made our own fun, and a few new friends.

Early September my friends and I went to the Ke$ha concert. She was amazing, and I had so much fun, and definitely wore out at the end of the night.

My friend Beth held a cookout party at her house. Great time…except for Hunter mowing the grass. 🙂 We can’t let her live that one down. Haha!

A new student organization was founded in Fall, Naps Against Poverty. We started a partnership with House of New Hope, which happens to have been founded from another friend’s grandparents. We raised clothing for teens, winter wear, and even Christmas presents for the foster children. Our campus, the Newark Advocate, and the Columbus Dispatch covered the story! It just goes to show that naps pay off more than you can ever think!

I went to see author Wes Moore at Columbus campus with my friend. He was amazing. I got to talk to him briefly, and he autographed my copy of his book. Definitely an inspiration.

I had the pleasure of seeing Prudence Wright Holmes, from Sister Act 1 & 2, as she performed a one woman play about the life of Willa Cather at our campus. Later my roommate, her boyfriend, one of my favorite professors and I got to go to dinner with her. She had some great stories.

One World Celebration at the Davis Shai House.

I worked hard on getting the Gladiator Ball event to come to campus. It was a great success. We had over 75 students play! Looking forward to bringing them back to campus in Spring.

Spent a few days in Kentucky. Got to see some people I hadn’t seen in a while. Enjoyed being back in the country away from the city. Reconnecting with nature, and simplicity!

Attended the first Young Leaders of Licking County event with a friend. Ran into more friends I didn’t know were attending. It was an awesome event. So much laughter, food, drinks, and fun!

Went through the Pataskala Haunted Forest with my Campus Activities friends.

Fall Festival at Pigeon Roost Farm.

I hosted the first Deaf social by American Sign Language Student Organization with friends. It was a great turnout.

I presented at my first state conference at Columbus State Community College, on at-promise populations and student leadership.

Went to the Beer & Wine Fest at campus with a friend. Had a lot of fun.

Hosted another Deaf social with an ugly sweater theme. Donation required to participate. All donations went to the foster kids at House of New Hope.

Ended the semester with our BGLC end of semester party, and the ELC end of semester party. It is always emotional getting to see where the students started at, and where they end their first semester.

Had our office Christmas party at Applebees (courtesy of my boss). We did an ugly sweater party/Secret Santa. I ended up getting gifts for everyone since I had extra money thanks to the ACT test.

I spent a weekend with my sister getting her apartment situated. We went all the way to Cincinnati for IKEA. I had never been before and fell in love with it. It was great being able to help her out and spend time with her and my niece and nephew, as well as her friend from high school.

Our family delayed Christmas until sometime in January (maybe)? So I spent a few days at my parents’ house. My mom was sick so I was able to convince a few siblings to show. We all cooked dinner, had some drinks, and enjoyed our usual game night/movie night traditions. I helped my mom wrap presents for my nephew and my brother, who turns out to be pretty amazing on the keyboard…his singing…not so much.

I ended my year at home alone. I enjoyed the peace, quiet, and relaxation.

Failures

The most memorable failure is failing math twice…in the same year…one semester after the other. Although this was a failure…it can also be thought of as a success. I had my friend tutor me twice a week. I did quite well for the first month! Hell, I even passed my first exam…barely! However after that things went downhill. I got the content in class. I got the content in tutoring…but when it came to the third exam, and the final exam…I blanked. I missed the second exam entirely due to testing rules that I wasn’t aware of. I failed the course with a significantly higher failing grade. Despite my learning disability with math, I am happy with my failure. My failure showed me that I am not as bad at math as I thought I was. I am just not able to get it, and that’s ok!

Relationships. Hmm. Well I had a year of failed relationships. I dated 3 people all year, and 2 of them I dated twice. I truly cared for each one. One is just in a lifestyle that I can’t be a part of anymore. He is still growing and evolving into adulthood. I hope that one day soon, he can find the happiness he deserves so that he can leave that bullshit behind him. The second one was someone I thought I could really see myself with long-term. He was sweet, charming, and frankly…he was good in all the right ways. His downfall was his job. A truck driver has way too much time on the road by themselves to think. And thinking starts becoming toxic after so long. Eventually that relationship failed. He went crazy on me, and then I gave him a second chance, but he basically wanted a relationship of convenience. So that ended again. When he came home we would meet up, have a great night, and then I wouldn’t see or hear from him for a month until he was coming home again. It just got toxic and I needed to preserve my own self. The final guy was like dating an inanimate object. He had no emotions, no empathy, no sincerity, no affection. I recently found out that I was 1 of 3 guys he was dating. I am not hurt over it. I knew something wasn’t right, and I am just happy I ended it.

Lessons

2016 wasn’t a bad year. It was actually a great year. A remarkable year even. The main lesson I learned this year was that when I reach my breaking point, I always find a way to just get by. I have learned that just because I give in, does not mean that I have given up. With all of the sad news regarding various family members in the past 2 months, I very sincerely wanted to drop out of college and give up. I was so close to doing so, but then a few friends randomly reached out to tell me how much I inspire them. They weren’t aware at that point that all I wanted to do was give up. It is because of their words that I did not give up. Knowing that if I can inspire others, I can inspire myself. I chose to champion on, and work harder to find alternatives. I had not just one back up plan, but two. Fortunately, I did not have to use either one.

The second lesson that I learned is how valuable meditation is for me. At first, I thought meditation was some New Age bullshit…ok it is still New Age bullshit, but it is New Age bullshit that works for me. I immediately noticed a huge difference in my body. Through those meditations, my body became relaxed for the first time in at least 20 years that I can recall. My anger diminished. My patience improved. I became more aware of the things around me that I take for granted on a daily basis. My self-esteem grew. Self-love began to blossom.

The third lesson isn’t necessarily a lesson, as it is a key. The Passion Planner, paired with meditation, has revived creativity, inspiration, focus, and good health. I currently have the free, printable version that I have compiled into a nice binder. The PP is the highlight of my days. I wake up and like an instinct, I open it up and begin to review and plan my day. I have never had a planner that I have used as much as I have with this one. Just before Christmas, I actually won a giveaway on the Passion Planner’s Instagram 12 Days of Giveaway contest. I won a Passion Planner, set of pens, a FitBit, some Quest Bars, and something else. I was so excited, and still am. My package should be arriving any day, and I can’t wait to share it with everyone when it comes!

In closing, I want to thank every single person who I encountered this past year. Some of you were a lesson, pun intended, some of you were a blessing, some of you were inspirations, many of you helped me when you didn’t even know you were doing so. I am always grateful for all of my family and friends, near and far, as we celebrate this thing called life (RIP PRINCE!) together. May you all have a better year than the last.

Leaving you with a year of good health, happiness, heart, and blessings of love.

…and remember, GO BUCKS!

It is not a surprise to those of us in college, and those who have completed college, that I haven’t had time to keep up with this blog like I had anticipated.

However, today is the first day of a new year. With that new year comes new priorities. I am making it a priority to do at least one post per week to detail my progress to May 7, 2017 when I will FINALLY graduate The Ohio State University with a Bachelor of Arts in English, and a minor in Education.

It will be 7 years in the making, but it isn’t about who completes a degree in 4 years, but that you complete it…or so someone said, anyways.

2015 was a rough year. I didn’t think that I would be able to find a way to financially cover my remaining classes. Thanks to Student Advocacy at OSU Columbus who covered my tuition for Fall 2015, and Spring 2016. I also want to thank Ohio Means Jobs, more importantly my case manager Heidi Wallace for helping make this a possibility. OMJ has covered my tuition for Fall 2016, and for Spring 2017. Initially they wanted me to continue my courses through Fall 2017 and graduate in December 2017. I am adamantly opposed to this, because I can complete all my remaining courses in Spring. I will be at 13 credit hours, which is only 1 more credit than “full time” I have taken 17 before, so I feel pretty confident that I can do this.

“No matter what ambitions you may have, good grades don’t necessarily tell us what you know or what you will be able to do with the understanding.” – What the Best College Students Do, by Ken Bain

In Spring 2016, I took Math 1050 and failed it tragically. Thanks to the new grade forgiveness, I was able to apply this and re-take it in Fall 2016. However, I failed it again (but with an improved failing grade). I also took Child Development again as the remaining course in my Education minor. I passed the course initially, but for the minor, I needed to retake it for a higher grade. I am so happy I did, because I ended up with an A in the course. I didn’t enjoy the course the first time I took it, but this time I truly loved it. It was probably due to how the course was restructured, and because of the professor…or a combination of both.

In early Fall 2016, I ran into a friend who works for OSU Student Services, and informed me I need to transition to Columbus so that I can 100% get a petition approved so that I do not have to take any math courses. I will instead take alternative math courses that incorporate math concepts, but not a math focus. I completed my campus change request, and was approved. When the Arts & Sciences advisor called me, she informed me that Newark campus offers the alternative courses that I was going to take at Columbus. After we talked she informed me that the Petition Committee had cancelled their meeting for the next day, and I wouldn’t find out if my petition was approved until January. I became frustrated and nervous that I would not get it. Immediately the next day, I received the email from the advisor that my petition was approved. I had to rearrange one class that was denied, but thankfully found the course they suggested that actually fit in the same time slot as the original course.

I am now officially enrolled in my four remaining courses: ASL 1103, Philosophy 1300, Sociology 2345, and Political Science 1200 (another course I failed, but I can use Grade Forgiveness on). My agenda to keep me on track to graduation now is as follows:

Meeting with OSU Student Services Tuesday morning.
Meeting with OSU Arts & Sciences Advisor Tuesday afternoon.
Cancel campus change and transfer back to Newark campus.
Ohio Means Jobs pay my tuition (pending).
Ohio Means Jobs book credit (approved, and hoping to get my books on Wednesday).
Schedule tutoring for ASL 1103, and possibly Philosophy 1300 (as I have heard nothing positive in 7 years about this professor or his course in general).
Apply for graduation.
Apply for Grade Forgiveness with my original advisor.
Print syllabi, and get an early start on the readings for Philosophy, Sociology, and Political Science.
Meeting with Career Services Friday to update resume and cover letter.
Get letter of recommendation from my former boss for 1 of 2 jobs I am applying for.
Send grad party invites.
Purchase graduation cap, gown, and ring.

…and remember GO BUCKS! (even if that Fiesta Bowl game was one hot mess!).