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Fear not the night, Dawn has arrived

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I stand before the pit. My body shakes, anxiousness and excitement merge to form a terrifying anticipation. My body and mind clash, the former held back by it’s fear of the unknown, the latter thrilled with the possibility of challenge. The encouragement from friends echoes throughout my consciousness and for a brief moment the fear falls away, leaving behind a surety that I can conquer the world or in this case a back flip. The process of jump, tuck and spin has been ingrained in my head and yet as I leaped I felt a profound wrongness. The world swirled around me and only the jolt of pain from hitting my chin on the flipping platform brought me back to reality. The pain was fleeting but the mental scar remained. From that point forward, I felt an inescapable fear overcome me as I attempted to perform any gymnastic move.

“I can hurt myself…”

“What if what happens last time happens again.?”

“What if I break my neck?”

These thoughts and questions swirled endlessly in my head, constantly, leaving me a husk of my former confident self. Eventually this reached the point where I couldn’t go to practice due my fear of failure and injuring myself. After several weeks of this, I found myself angry, not at gymnastics, not at my teammates, but myself. Why, was I so afraid? Is it not better to shine like a star and be extinguished than never shine at all. This anger and my own resentment followed me until I found myself at practice. I would never get better unless I tried. Unless I failed. Unless I succeed.

Before the pit I stood, not a victim instead I was a conqueror, I conquered my fear and now I needed to conquer the pit. So I leapt, and I landed in the pit. Not on my head but on my feet and now I am a cat I always land on my feet.

Personal Development

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In review there are many things I experienced in my first semester of college. Ultimately it is a matter of self-reflection and awareness that has allowed me to understand how far I’ve come and how far I have to go. I feel like I have undergone a shift in mindset and a shift in habits. Initially my experience led me to constant action while moving and not taking the time to rest and re-program myself. This led to an eventual burn out. This burnout showed itself in the form of constant sickness, arriving at the point of near hospitalization. Fortunately I recovered and decided that I would then take things slower, taking more time to rest. Again I began to reach an extreme where my standard for rest became inactivity and I slowly became detached from my other college activities in favor of remaining in my dorm.

These two extremes are states that did not allow me to reach my full potential because there was no balance in my college life. Now as I write this post, I have gained an understanding of what true balance is. Both work and rest, rest can include many things outside of just sleep, but other activities which don’t include a focus on academia. This allows me to decompress and begin to refocus and reevaluate what is important. Then when I pursue my academic interest I am able to blaze a path of success because I have prepared myself in all aspects for the rigor I would put myself through.

Balance.. This is what I’ve developed.

The Yin and Yang Symbol, is used in daoist practice to represent a balance of chaos and order.

About Me

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This is me. A seeker of adventure and a lover of novelty. My name is Rashaan Boyd and I wish to understand humanity and what is means to be human. My life has always revolved around forming connections with other people. Whether it be through social activities, clubs, volunteering, music, academia and leadership all my activities revolve around making and growing from the connections I form with others. The thought of how science and technology continue to revolutionize the word always fills me with a sense of wonder. My passion from  STEM comes from the fact that through it, nothing is impossible. My passion was ignited when I realized just how vast our universe really is. One can look up at the stars and see hundreds of solar systems each one potentially brimming with new adventures. I wish to explore and see the stars just so I can answer the question, How far can we go?  I became a STEM scholar because it would allow me to surround myself with people who have a passion for discovery and exploring worlds of untold possibilities.

I chose to be a neuroscience major at The Ohio State University because, I believe we have a whole universe in our minds and I am intent to explore it. I am not sure of how I am going to achieve a complete understanding of our most powerful tool. Yet I am confident that as I begin my journey, I will gather the skills necessary to see, How far we can go?

Year in Review

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[ “Year in Review”  is where you should reflect on the past year and show how you have evolved as a person and as a student.  You may want to focus on your growth in a particular area (as a leader, scholar, researcher, etc.) or you may want to talk about your overall experience over the past year.  For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email eportfolio@osu.edu. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]

G.O.A.L.S.

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[ “G.O.A.L.S.” is a place where students write about how their planned, current, and future activities may fit into the Honors & Scholars G.O.A.L.S.: Global Awareness, Original Inquiry, Academic Enrichment, Leadership Development, and Service Engagement. For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email eportfolio@osu.edu. Delete these instructions and add your own post.

  • Global Awareness: Students cultivate and develop their appreciation for diversity and each individual’s unique differences. For example, consider course work, study abroad, involvement in cultural organizations or activities, etc.
  • Original Inquiry: Honors & Scholars students understand the research process by engaging in experiences ranging from in-class scholarly endeavors to creative inquiry projects to independent experiences with top researchers across campus and in the global community. For example, consider research, creative productions or performances, advanced course work, etc.
  • Academic Enrichment: Honors & Scholars students pursue academic excellence through rigorous curricular experiences beyond the university norm both in and out of the classroom.
  • Leadership Development: Honors & Scholars students develop leadership skills that can be demonstrated in the classroom, in the community, in their co-curricular activities, and in their future roles in society.
  • Service Engagement: Honors & Scholars students commit to service to the community.]

Career

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[“Career” is where you can collect information about your experiences and skills that will apply to your future career.  Like your resume, this is information that will evolve over time and should be continually updated.  For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email eportfolio@osu.edu. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]

Artifacts

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[Artifacts are the items you consider to be representative of your academic interests and achievements. For each entry, include both an artifact and a detailed annotation.  An annotation includes both a description of the artifact and a reflection on why it is important to you, what you learned, and what it means for your next steps.  For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email eportfolio@osu.edu. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]

About Me

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[Your “About Me” is a brief biographical statement that might include your intended major, your academic interests, your goals, as well as the things that make you unique.  Definitely include a picture! Also, remember that you can always update this post at any point. For more guidance on using your ePortfolio, including questions and prompts that will help you get started, please visit the Honors & Scholars ePortfolio course in Carmen. To get answers to specific questions, please email eportfolio@osu.edu. Delete these instructions and add your own post.]