Hello from Daytona Beach!
I’m pleased to say I arrived to Daytona in one piece!
This is not my first time travelling alone, but it was my first time renting a car, and my first time driving on I-4. So even before PoSSUM begins, I know I will be leaving Florida a wiser and more experienced person.
The PoSSUM Advanced Academy began this morning at Embry Riddle Aeronautical University. My twelve classmates and I spent the majority of the day in a classroom. Different lecturers from Project PoSSUM presented to us on their areas of expertise. To kick off the program, we learned the basics of how to operate the PoSSUMCam (PoSSUM’s onboard camera for capturing footage of noctiucent clouds) from professional cinematographers. Next, we attended lectures from Dr. Jason Reimuller on the following topics:
The Mesosphere
Remote Sensing
Noctilucent clouds and Scattering,
Solar Mechanics as applied to PoSSUM,
Observing Geometry during Suborbital Flight
Spacesuit Safety
I will admit that at first I wasn’t too excited about spending eight hours in a classroom, but after a little while I realized that I was in a familiar location – my old happy place. Twelve-year-old me used to spend hours just sitting and reading books on outer space, and all of a sudden, here in Daytona, that love of learning returned. I felt as though I was at peace with myself.
The biggest take away from today, however, was brought to me in the form of knowledge I didn’t have.
Before I left, my roommate (the fabulous Kelly DeRees) and I were having a conversation about why girls often don’t raise their hands in class. Some theorize the reason behind this behavior is that society trains girls to be perfect – never to risk doing something wrong, while boys are taught to just go for it, and if they don’t get it right the first time, to try again. Kelly and I are both Pathways interns at the NASA Johnson Space Center, and she told me of how she was making a conscious effort to overcome any feelings of apprehension and to speak up more frequently during meetings with full-blown NASA engineers – not allowing any opportunities to contribute to NASA’s mission pass by. I wanted to put this philosophy into practice, and so whenever Dr. Reimuller would ask the class a question, I would raise my hand whenever I felt that I had at least a reasonable guess at the answer. This practice led me to get several answers wrong, but also quite a few answers right. Through this I discovered something miraculous – no one seemed to care when I got an answer wrong. Contrary to what I previously believed, no one was sitting in the back of the classroom with a white board, tallying how many answers I got wrong until they decided that I was the biggest dummy in the class. If anything, I demonstrated that I was willing to participate in the class, and was actively engaged in learning the material.
The very last question that Dr. Reimeuller asked us was a doozy. It was an orbital mechanics problem that required a little bit of creativity to solve. The lecture on orbital mechanics had been somewhat challenging, especially since the topic was new to most of us in the classroom. We had done several practice problems that were easy enough, but for this last one Dr. Reimuller decided to throw us a curveball. He put the problem up on the board, and left us for a while to try and work it out. I sat and stared at the problem, and for a moment felt the paralysis of intimidation start to take hold of my mind. But in that moment I decided to say “no” – I would not be scared. I’ve had to take so many math classes as part of my degree – I knew I was equipped to solve this, I just had to convince myself to be confident. So I worked on the problem until I felt I had it solved. When Dr. Reimuller came back and asked if anybody had an answer, I raised my hand and realized that all but myself and a group of three had given up. Dr. Reimuller checked the three-person group first, but unfortunately their answer was incorrect. Next he checked mine, and then asked me to put it on the board. I sill didn’t know if I was right or not, but I went up to the board and started to write out my answer, explaining my approach as I went along. I finished, turned around, and looked at the class, still waiting to hear how I did. To my relief (and concealed excitement) I was correct! I decided to be bold, and it paid off. I hoped I had made a good impression, and maybe even represented my Buckeyes a little. Moreover, my classmates approached me afterwards, surrounding me at the board as I reworked the question, explaining it again. Each and every one of them was a smart, friendly person – the exact type of people you would expect to become astronauts one day. I held each one in high regard, and here they were, asking ME questions?! It was a great feeling, and it felt…..right? I hope that doesn’t come across as egotistic. I am by no means claiming that I am an all-knowing being, and that even the brightest should be lining up at my door, begging for a small piece of my infinite wisdom. No, what I mean is that I know I have a brain knocking around in my head. I know that I am capable of tackling these types of problems. Over the past few years, whenever I have found myself working in project teams at school, I often find myself fighting to keep from being pushed to the side. And even when I succeed to have my voice heard, it’s as if my words don’t carry much weight. There are a few reasons for this, some having to do with my own self-confidence, and others having to do with things out of my control. But here, at PoSSUM, I didn’t have any of that. I was confident, and I was surrounded by good, equally smart individuals. I didn’t look down on myself, and no one looked down on me. For the first time in a while, I was free to shine. I was able to relax and spread out a little in that freedom. I was who I was, and I loved every minute of it.
