Introspection: Who are you?

Every day we walk through life, we should be living our best lives. Not many people can say they are living their best life, but that is likely because we have become an increasingly pessimistic society. We complain, we hold grudges, we care more about the perception someone else has of us than our own opinion of ourselves. We have lost ourselves in time.

What type of life do you want to live? Do you want to live a life that is filled with adventure, fun, passion, and lots of love? Do you want to live a life with regret, anger, contempt, and confusion? Select your path and allow me to introduce both sides in my story so you can understand what each has to give (or take).

My Story

I believe we all have a choice: a choice to be phenomenal or a choice to listen to the demeaning thoughts in our heads. Throughout my first year in college, I allowed the negative thoughts to deafen my optimistic spirit and kill me, slowly. Drained on a daily basis, I tried to obtain some source of motivation to take me out of this slump, but my motivations were all external. I questioned my intelligence, my sense of purpose, my life. I was going through a very tough stint in my life; however, depression became the present that would open my eyes to a new world. I was receiving all of my validation from the feelings of being liked by others, I was going to social media for validation (keeping up with the amount of likes and how many followers I had), and I was taken astray causing stress in my sense of existence. I felt so alone even when I was in a crowd of people, I felt envious toward those who had everything I felt I didn’t, I felt uncertain because I didn’t know who I was.

Self-Realization

I started to realize that all of the things I was pursuing were in fact driven by the external factors in my life, but not once did I ask myself what I wanted to become. As I began to come to this realization, I started to tend to myself and listen to that internal voice who has guided me in my journey of life. We all have our own answers, but many times we leave our own questions unanswered because we want to be able to correspond with the majority. We lose sight of the person who truly matters the most: ourselves. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of someone else to the best of our ability. If we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to share a love that is full and wholehearted.

Takeaways

I learned that I must start appreciating myself and others would follow. When you understand who you are, you become authentic, you have genuine meaning in your voice, in your spirit. You are then not led by a false reality that you have shaped to fit in to society, but by something that lives within each of us, our heart. You discover that you are unique, that you are amazing, that you are one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you.

Usually we give out resources, but I do not want to throw resources at you because in the game of life, you are a resource to your self-actualization. You have the power to change your life and no one else has that leverage to do such a thing. To make the most of today, to live our best lives, we have to look deep within and start a new chapter in our book called self-appreciation, self-love, self-discovery. Everything else will follow, I promise!

So, I ask again what path will you choose, how do you want to live your life?

P.S. Watch this YouTube video.

If You’re Reading This, It’s Not Too Late

Congrats, you’ve made it through most of fall semester. The question is, do you know how to prepare for spring semester?

 

My first semester was two years ago, so I would be lying if I said I remembered exactly how I spent it. I do, however, remember feeling both relieved and anxious and I can confirm this because it’s exactly how I felt during winter break last year. It feels good to know you’ve accomplished something and you are one step closer to your next goal, but it’s scary to realize you don’t know what the future will bring. It’s hard not to worry about your progress, or think about how satisfied you are with your current work ethic, your major or just your life in general. My first semester, I spent more time focused on classes and personal problems than I did taking care of myself, which led to me forming some unhealthy coping mechanisms and being unhappy overall. Not to mention, I was considering changing my major and felt so lost about what I wanted to do. It was a difficult time, but I survived it. There is a way, however, to alleviate that stress and that’s by taking time to think about what you want to prepare for next semester and setting goals so you can do things differently in the future. 

There are a lot of different ways to set goals. My personal favorite is writing all of them down as a gigantic map in my bullet journal (it’s really chaotic). There are also more structured ways, like S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. However you choose to create your goals, make sure your goals are specific and include specific steps on how to achieve that goal and measure your progress on achieving that goal. An example of a goal you could set is getting into your desired major by a certain date.

And so, here are my tips for the best way to prepare for spring semester: 

Remember that you are the boss of your own education. If you were unsatisfied with your classes for autumn semester and are reconsidering your major, don’t feel pressured to stay in classes you don’t want to be in. Use this break to do some research and explore other majors and schedule to meet with an Exploration advisor or consider career counseling. It’s normal to be unsure or lost about what you want to do but it’s important that you address it and make efforts to figure it out.  

Transform your health. If you ate a lot of crappy food and/or didn’t work out in autumn semester, use this break to change that. Drink lots of water and take advantage of home-cooked meals if you aren’t staying on campus. Likewise, try a new recipe if you are sticking around. Maybe learn how to do some yoga. Use this time to improve your health, mentally and physically. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t fallen victim to the “Freshman 15”, but believe me when I say it’s an exhausting way to live and not how you want to spend your first year of college.

Start a routine! Having a routine gives you small goals to accomplish throughout the day and you’ll feel better after each one. Over winter break, these goals don’t have to be “big”. For example, your routine could be getting out of bed by 11 a.m., eating breakfast, making your bed, working out and sleeping by 11 p.m. Creating and sticking to habits during the weeks you aren’t on campus will help you slide into routine when you get back on campus. It will help you manage your work without wasting time and give you time to take care of yourself.

Did you have a good support system in autumn semester? Winter break is the perfect time to reflect on the relationships you created over the last few months. It’s important that you have people on campus who support and uplift you. If the people you hang out with aren’t good influences and don’t encourage your growth, it might be time to distance yourself from them and seek better connections.

Get a planner, calendar, or journal and write down all important deadlines and exam dates at the start of the semester for each of your classes for the entire semester (based on your syllabi). This can include homework, readings, lab reports, essays, basically anything you could get assigned; you can do it during the first few weeks of classes and it will make you feel a lot more prepared later on.

You may have already realized this, but time goes by fast when you’re in college. You might feel exhausted after finals and find yourself wanting to not think about school for a few weeks, but pushing the thought away isn’t going to make the first day of classes come any later. When everything slows down, take time to do some self-reflection, I promise you’ll feel better when you do. Good luck!

Appreciating the Journey

“Yeah, we’ve made it this far. And you know we’ve got your back, through the good and the bad.”

 

The lyrics come from one of my favorite songs. I’ve played and replayed it so many times this year, it probably deserves its own Spotify playlist. Hearing it always encouraged me and lifted my spirit during stressful times. This song reminded me to take a moment to appreciate the fact that (through the good and the bad) I’m no longer where I started. I’ve taken a journey, where I’ve grown, learned and changed along the way.

Now that we’re fast approaching the end of the school year, you might be scrambling to prepare for your finals, writing these last few papers and trying to finalize what’s next for you in terms of summer plans. It’s so easy to forget to enjoy this one big truth: You’ve made it this far!

You’re just a few weeks away from finishing your very first year at Ohio State! That is a significant and very special accomplishment and it’s okay to feel proud of yourself. I’m proud of you and I know that our entire Ohio State community is proud of you. You’ve faced all kinds of new difficulties, stresses and hardships this year, from financial, to emotional to physical, but you persevered. That is amazing and you are amazing!

It’s also okay if your first year wasn’t absolutely what you imagined it was going to be. All the steps you’ve taken and all the decisions you’ve made up until now have allowed you to get to this point! Whether your first year has been great or on the rough-side,  know that you matter. You’re more than your grades and achievements and the fact that you are here is something to be very proud of.

As we come to the end of the school year, and you start reflecting on how far you’ve come, here a few things to remember:

1. Keep an Open Mind about your Major/Career

If you weren’t certain about your major this year, or if you’re still considering changing majors for next year, this is completely normal. It took me until the beginning of my junior year to find the right major for me, and I couldn’t be happier with the way things have panned out. Keep searching, keep asking questions and keep an open mind! Everything does not have to be decided within your first year.

2. Consider What You’d Like to Improve on for Next Year

Would you like to become more efficient in managing your time?  Be a little less or more involved on campus? Improve your study habits? Consider how this year went as you reflect. Think about how that reflection can possibly turn into goals for next year, for example—making sure to go to the fall involvement fair, reaching out to professors early on and using a planner to keep all your classwork and notes organized.

3.  Give Thanks

Take a little time to say thank you to those who have helped you during your first year here. That could be a great group of friends, family, roommates, floormates, your RA, a professor, a commuter liaison and more. It’s never corny to write a thank-you note! Showing gratitude goes a long way and it will mean a lot to those who receive it!

4. Get Rest

Think of the summer ahead as an opportunity to rest, rejuvenate and take time for the things that are important to you. No matter where you’re going this summer, or what your plans are–be sure to take some time to relax and enjoy the season!

Remember, you made it this far! I hope that in the busyness of this season, you can take some time to really let that sink in and appreciate all that your first year has been. Congratulations and keep going! We believe in you, I believe in you and your fellow Buckeyes believe in you!

“And you know, we’ve got your back, through the good and the bad.”

A New Perspective

For those of you who do not know, The Ohio State University has a mission, vision, set of values and core goals. At Ohio State, we value excellence, diversity in people and of ideas, inclusion, access and affordability, innovation, collaboration and multidisciplinary endeavor, and integrity. Undoubtedly, these values are important. However, I never had a first-hand experience to allow me to see why these values were important to me personally. I am happy to now say after going on my first Buck-I-SERV trip, I feel more connected than ever to these university values.

This past spring break, I went to Appalachia Ohio in a place called Vinton County with five fellow Buckeyes to serve. Although we were there to teach about college access, I think I was the one who ended up learning the most. Growing up in a suburb of Columbus, I did not know what to expect going to one of the most rural parts of Columbus. However, I know that I never expected to be enlightened so much by the people that I met and by the beauty of Appalachia Ohio. In my week in Vinton county, we worked with elementary, middle, and high school kids. Through various activities, we were there to promote the idea of pursuing something after high school, whether it be a 4-year college or a technical school.

In my time there, I saw many hardships. I talked to the teachers who told me about the lack of support in many of the households the kids were raised in. I heard some disappointing and tragic stories. It is easy to focus on the bad, but I want to focus on the good, and in my time in Vinton County, I saw so much good. I saw the investment of individuals at the Ohio State Extension Office working to make sure children could participate in engaging programs after school. I met students who had such a strong commitment and pride associated with their family, which was admirable to see. I met a high school English teacher, who is also a retired lawyer. She realized the legal system could not help the community, so she became a teacher. It was inspirational to see how she would could motivate any and all students. She valued each student’s uniqueness and believed that they could be great, even when they did not believe this themselves.

Coming from a fairly privileged background, it is easy for me to think that places like the inner-city and rural Ohio are in need of “fixing” and do not have much to offer. Yet, the reality is, there is a lot that I have learned and can learn by exposing myself to such communities. I have learned to better value the diversity of experience. I have learned the importance of having a strengths-based perspective, which is focusing on others’ abilities, talents, and resources, rather than others’ problems and deficits. I have learned and seen the impact of genuine dedication and investment towards a community. I am thankful to Ohio State and Buck-I-SERV for allowing me the opportunity to widen my perspective and feel better connected to the values that we hold dear as Buckeyes.

 

The Powers of Reflection

Congratulations! You have successfully made it to your second semester here at Ohio State. And now that syllabus week is over, the work begins.

I had a rough first semester at OSU. I didn’t have many friends, I didn’t want to admit to my parents that I was having a hard time, and I didn’t do well in classes. I ended up skipping classes to watch Netflix and sleep in and rarely left my residence hall. I ate a ton, did no homework and didn’t study and I ended up coming home for winter break 20 pounds heavier with a terrible GPA. Luckily, I had wonderful parents who, although disappointed, did their best to help me move forward instead of dwelling on the past. We spent a lot of time that winter break trying to figure out what went wrong and how to help me get back on track; and through that experience I learned how amazingly powerful reflection could be. I went into my second semester with a new outlook and ended it with a 3.5 semester GPA.

You have all more or less successfully completed a full semester at OSU and believe it or not you are now a veteran! You now have a pretty good idea of the in’s and out’s of college so why not put some of that knowledge to use? You will do so much better this semester if you take the time and space to reflect on what went right and what went wrong.

I have a little reflection activity (it takes about 30 minutes) that I want to share with you. I’ve started, weekly, going out by myself to eat or putting on some background music and lighting a candle in my room and just thinking. Below I’ve written out a way that you can engage in a similar activity that helps with mindfulness and goal-setting.

Reflection Activity:

Think back to the first days on the Ohio State campus: moving into the dorm rooms, meeting new faces, your parents moving your stuff into your dorm room. Remember how your room looked when you first stepped in. And how it looked when you were done with it. Remember saying goodbye to your parents, and spending the night with your new friends and roommates.

Fast forward through Welcome Week: all of the activities, the whirlwind of people, the cheers, the crowds, getting used to campus.

Now it’s the first days of classes: remember rushing to find your first class, pulling out the Maps app on your phone to find Arps Hall. Remember returning to your room at the end of the day exhausted but satisfied because at least you now know where your classes are.

Keep going fast-forwarding through your semester, letting your mind snag on the important parts, dwell on them a little before moving on. Try writing some of those moments down to remember them. Remember the good things and the bad things. Continue until you finally get to winter break. Imagine all of the things that went right last semester. What did you do well? When was your first success? How can you keep that up this semester? Write this stuff down.

What went wrong? What did you improve? What could you have done better in? What do you need to change? What can you do to improve? Write. It. Down.

Now look and think about everything you just wrote and thought about. What goals do you have for this semester that could hit on those points you just wrote down? Write those down and put them on your phone or hang them in your room.

Those are your goals for this semester.

The reason you may want to limit your Netflix binging over winter break

If your Thanksgiving break was anything like mine, you probably made your way to the fridge, overwhelmed with the amount of food fresh for the taking. You hunkered down on the couch in front of the TV or maybe turned to Netflix and binge-watched whatever Netflix suggested for you. You stayed up late and then slept in until you were too restless to flop around in your bed any longer, only to start your day of pursuing technology and comfort. Maybe you fell into the trap of video gaming until the wee hours of the morn, only taking breaks to refuel or use the facilities. You essentially did a lot of things that were relaxing, comforting, and fulfilling for a short time, but when those things lost their luster you moved on to the next thing. By the end of it, I felt like I was ready to get back to school but I was not fulfilled by my time off. I wished I could do it over again; I put off responsibilities to the very end and headed back to campus feeling dissatisfied.

Funny-Computer-Endless-Addiction-4

Unfortunately, truly resting is a struggle for many of us. We are used to constant stimulation and entertainment, whether that’s through social media, Snapchat, texting, or any other ways we use technology to stay “busy.” If you don’t come into this longer break with somewhat of a game plan, your winter break could leave you feeling unfulfilled anxious rather than well rested.

How do we do this? I think it starts with recognizing the difference between true rest and being entertained. It is easy to find yourself seeking to be preoccupied when you get home. We probably have many things we look to to keep busy and entertained whether that is TV, movies, Netflix, shopping, eating, frequent naps, or browsing social media. Though they do not involve much effort or physical exertion, I would not say that these things make me feel rested and refreshed.

What I find truly restful is to unplug from the constant brain stimulation that I am so used to during school, and focus on being more present. I personally try to find rest during breaks in going for a walk or run outside, reflecting over the semester, reading my Bible, spending time in prayer over my life and for people in my life, or even going on a spontaneous adventure (your local grocery store can be an adventure). I think the key is to find things that are enriching to your life and leave you feeling more alive and refreshed which can look like a lot of different things for different people. Another way that I like to do this is by spending quality time with my friends and family, catching up on what has been going on in life, or doing something that goes beyond just “hanging out.” Winter break can be a great time to sort through the direction you are currently headed in life and to reflect on ways you have grown.

I am not trying to say that you shouldn’t watch movies, Netflix, or plop down and watch some TV at all over break. The new Star Wars movie is coming out and I will be all over that. However, I don’t think these things bring much refreshment or rest to my life and so it is important to devote time to doing the things that truly offer rest rather than vainly hoping to find that rest in binge watching “Orange is the New Black.”

May the Force be with you this finals week and over break.

Reflections of A First Year Out-Of-State Student

Where are you from?

Long Island, New York

What is your major?

Speech and Hearing Science

Why did you choose to come to Ohio State?

I chose to come Kiley Nolan Pictureto Ohio State because after looking at 19 schools, I knew I wanted to go to a large university where everyone was able to be themselves. I really loved the athletic atmosphere and traditions. I felt like I was very welcomed here.

What has been the best part about coming to Ohio State?

The best part about coming to Ohio State has been getting to learn so many different things from so many different people, faculty and experiences. I have learned so much outside of my realm of knowledge, my major, my prior experiences and places I have been.

What’s been your funniest moment as an out-of-state student?

The first week of school we were trying to order a pizza and I kept asking if we were going to order a pie. My friends looked at me and kept telling me they were ordering a “large.” I kept asking if we were getting a “pie,” and then someone said, “We’re not going to a bakery Kiley, we’re getting pizza!” At that moment I realized they don’t call “large pizzas” a “pie” here. I still to this day do not understand why these crazy Ohioans don’t call it a pie. All I know is I’m not in New York anymore!

Kiley Nolan Picture 2

What has been the most surprising part about coming to Ohio State?

The most surprising part about coming to Ohio State has definitely been that you are MUCH more than just a number. Coming to a large school, I was kind of excited to be just a number because I came from such a small high school. However, now that I am here I realize that I am WAY more than just a number. I can walk anywhere on campus and know at least one person.

What’s the best piece of advice you were given coming into college?

I was given two really good pieces of advice:

1. Make every day an adventure

2. Sleep is for when you are dead.

Both of those have held true this past year!

What are you most looking forward to for the rest of your college experience?

So much! I’m excited to have the opportunity to leave my mark on the university. I have seen how the people above me have accomplished so much in the Ohio State community and I would love to be able to do the same by the time I graduate.

If you could give one piece of advice to other out-of-state students what would it be?

I would tell them to say “YES!” Say yes to things people who live in Ohio tell you to do, to taking a random class, to having lunch with a family member, to going to a new state. Just say “Yes!”

Kiley Nolan 3

 

My First Year Was Successful Because…

So, the end of your first year at Ohio State is winding down and there are only three weeks left to go before you are no longer considered a first year student. What do you have to show for it? What have you learned? My first year was a year of growth and development. I learned more about myself in that one year than I had in all of my four years of high school and I am thankful for what I learned. After I finished my last exam of spring semester, I took some time to reflect and realized that my year was wildly successful because…

I knew my professors’ names and had personally conversed with them. Approaching professors can be intimidating and in the midst of your busy semester you wonder if it is really worth your time to get to know your professors. It is. Your professors are some of the best resources on campus. They have a wealth of knowledge and are so excited to share their ideas! Professors are here to fill our minds with more knowledge than we can imagine and want to help us grow as students.

I could go the RPAC alone. In my first semester I was afraid to go most places on campus alone because, frankly, I thought I would get lost and because I never wanted to be lonely. However, there came a time when I was ready to go places on my own time. Being confident in my ability to navigate the campus effectively and take time for myself is a skill that I am thankful I learned.

I found a major that helped me find my passion. During my first semester I changed my major, and it was one of the best decisions I made at Ohio State. Not only did I find a major that I enjoyed, but I also found a major that helped me discover ways to further develop my interests and find my true niche.

I learned how to manage my time. It was always a sad day to realize that I had 60 pages of a textbook that needed to be read before my next class. With a packed schedule of going to class, student organization meetings, papers, midterms, and napping, it is difficult to find time to accomplish everything in one day. By the end of my first year I had developed a way to schedule time to study, go to class, and nap. Figuring out how to use my time wisely made my goals attainable.

I was exhausted. By the end of my first year, I was mentally and physically exhausted. My brain hurt from the amount of knowledge I obtained and I was too tired to function from all of the late nights study sessions and life talks with my roommates. I never got much sleep, but I never regretted an extra minute of studying or conversing with people on my floor.

I found my inner Buckeye. By the end of my first year I had finally learned all of the words to Carmen Ohio and the Buckeye Battle Cry. After sitting with thousands of my friends at football games, I learned the words to the point where I could participate for each song. Cheering on the Buckeyes is a top priority and learning how to sing along made me feel more connected to other students and the University.

I wanted to come back. When my parents came to pick me up after my last final, the first thing I wanted to do was go straight back to Ohio State. My first year was so much more than I thought it would ever be and I was so thankful for the great year Ohio State gave me. Before I returned home for the summer, I already could not wait to get back to Ohio State to learn more, meet more people, and further develop the amazing friendships I had made. I fell in love with Ohio State my first year and I could not wait to return the following year to have another amazing year.                                                                                                                                                                              

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