Turning the Golden Rule on its head

Golden Rule 2015-07-30

Treat people the way you want to be treated. It’s the golden rule – or so we’re told. But perhaps a deeper, more effective way to interact with others is to treat them the way they want to be treated. Reading one self-help book or attending a Myers-Briggs workshop will quickly illustrate that people can be motivated by and comfortable with very different things. So, choosing to relate to others only in a way that is comfortable to you, might actually be a bit short-sighted.

A few years ago, I learned this lesson the hard way – by completely blowing it. I was teaching with a respected colleague who has a personality and teaching style that are very different from mine – and I enjoyed that balance when we worked together. For about a year, we met monthly with a difficult group of participants. Most of these folks didn’t seem interested in what we were sharing; however, they were required to attend these classes to receive food vouchers for participating, so they would reluctantly show up for the sessions. We had a new group of participants each time, so it was difficult to build rapport with them. When the class would roll around each month, I found myself dreading the experience, and I knew from our conversations that my colleague felt the same way.

After each class, I would be sure to take time to thank my coworker for her effort. I expressed how grateful I was to have her share her expertise with the group. Since I knew that teaching these classes could be challenging, I wanted to be sure that she knew how much I appreciated her willingness to continue to work with the less-than-friendly participants. I thought that pointing out my continued gratitude would be motivating and would let her know that her efforts were well-appreciated – at least by me.

One afternoon, after about six months of these classes, as I was packing up our materials, I thanked her again for her efforts. She stopped what she was doing, turned to me and said, “You know, you don’t need to thank me each time we come here.” She continued, “And actually when you thank me every time, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m just doing my job. I know that you appreciate me, and I really like working with you. So you don’t need to continue to thank me.”

That was such a profound teachable moment for me, and I was very grateful to her for sharing her feelings (although I refrained from expressing my gratitude). Her honest, well-expressed comments helped me realize that I had only been thinking of my own patterns of communication – what I liked and positively responded to. I hadn’t really taken into consideration her personality and how to effectively communicate in a way that resonated with her. In other words, I wasn’t treating her the way she preferred to be treated. While my intentions were good, my execution was all wrong.

Interacting with people in meaningful and fulfilling ways requires us to observe, ask, listen and learn about the folks who fill our lives. The process of relationship building can be complicated, confusing…and wonderful. Connecting with another person involves empathy, understanding and, many times, the need to move outside of our own patterns of behavior, thought or comfort. Opening ourselves to the complexity of others, without judgment, enables us to recognize that while we may have many similar traits, experiences and beliefs, we are indeed individual and unique.

Visit go.osu.edu/seekexcellence to discover the educational programs and resources that can help you and your team learn more about building strong relationships.

(Submitted by Becky Nesbitt, Assistant Professor and Extension Educator, Ohio Valley EERA)

Building Regional Sustainability through Urban-Rural Connections

Cities and surrounding rural areas are highly connected and interdependent on a number of realms: socially, economically and environmentally to name a few. To succeed, cities in America need a healthy and sustainable rural economy and culture; and in turn rural America needs vibrant, well-functioning cities and suburbs in order to thrive and flourish (Dabson, 2007).  Meaningful dialogue, understanding and collaboration is critically important when seeking solutions to issues that affect cities and nearby rural counterparts.

Urban-Rural Combined 2015-07-23For example, agricultural land uses in watersheds that provide source water for metropolitan areas has become a major concern as of late. While it is a city’s responsibility to provide quality drinking and recreational water resources to residents at a reasonable cost, it is the goal of agricultural producers to provide food for America’s consumers, also at a reasonable cost, while bringing in sufficient revenues needed to stay in business.

Inputs used to increase food production – fertilizers and herbicides, for example – can enter the rural watershed and affect the city’s water resources downstream. The cost to the city of treating and removing nutrients and herbicides from their drinking water can impact on resident’s water rates. The loss of fertilizers and herbicides due to run off increases a farmer’s cost of production.

How can meaningful dialogue and collaboration between urban and rural entities be created around issues such as these? Is it possible to find common ground that can be built upon to benefit and meet the needs of all parties? In the scenario above, common ground may be that both the farmer and the city would like to see fertilizers and herbicides stay on the fields and out of the watershed. Dialogue and collaboration is needed to discover and implement the combination of educational programming, best management practices, incentives and other types of support that is most effective in helping these entities meet their common goals.

A recent issue brief published by the National Association of Development Organizations (NADO) provides examples of urban-rural collaborative efforts through a series of case studies highlighting examples from communities across the country: Creating Opportunity and Prosperity Through Strengthening Rural-Urban Connections. NADO concludes that “in order to move forward, a national statement of shared purpose along the lines that if metropolitan America is to drive national prosperity, then to succeed it will need a healthy and sustainable rural economy and culture, and if rural America is to flourish, it will need vibrant, well-functioning cities and suburbs.” Finding common concerns, understanding interconnections, recognizing interdependence and building collaborations are key steps in building regional sustainability.

(Submitted by Myra Moss, Associate Professor and Extension Educator, Heart of Ohio EERA)

Northeast Ohio Food Trade Show Plans are Underway

Cuyahoga County has received much attention in recent years for the work being done to address food insecurity in low-income urban communities. Think of programs like Produce Perks, which provides a financial incentive for SNAP recipients who shop at farmers markets, or the Summer Sprout Community Gardening Program, which provides free support and technical assistance to over 200 community gardens in the City of Cleveland.  Ensuring that all residents in Cuyahoga County have access to fresh, affordable and nutritious food is one of the centerpieces of our work in Northeast Ohio and has been the driving force behind some of our most successful programs to date.

Food Cluster Cover - 2014-09-25The issue of Food Access, however, is just one facet of the ever-evolving conversation around local food in our region. In 2014, OSU Extension, Cuyahoga County partnered with Bush Consulting Group, The City of Cleveland Mayor’s Office of Sustainability and the Cleveland-Cuyahoga County Food Policy Coalition to develop a sustainable food cluster roadmap in Cuyahoga County with a core objective to increase regional jobs, revenue and sustainability by supporting local food and beverage businesses. Published last May, the roadmap identifies a number of market opportunities and provides specific strategies to boost regional strength and competitiveness across the food sector, including the establishment of a Northeast Ohio Food Trade Show. This event will connect regional food and beverage producers with potential customers. As OSU Extension’s Cuyahoga County office begins to broaden the scope of its community and economic development work, preliminary planning has begun to develop such an event.

Beginning with an assessment of current strengths and resource needs, OSU Extension has hired Muse Content Group, a local expert firm in market research, to develop a business model canvas that will inform our planning efforts and provide a blueprint as we move forward with this project. Following delivery of the canvas in late August, subsequent collaborative planning and development is slated to begin. Stay tuned!

(Submitted by Nico Boyd, Program Coordinator, Cuyahoga County & Western Reserve EERA)

Bridging Fathers and Families through Financial Literacy

We’ve all seen the statistics:  Being actively involved with our children reduces problems and leads to positive outcomes. One area that often leads to a disconnection in this area is with non-custodial parents. This is (statistically) often the father.

Child support plays an important role in the finances of many families, both for the custodial parents or other family members caring for children who receive payments, and for the noncustodial parents (usually fathers) who pay child support. Both can benefit greatly from financial education and from access to asset-building tools such as Individual Development Accounts (IDAs).

Susan 2015-07-09Towards that end, OSU Extension is proud to report that they are one of three organizations selected in the state of Ohio to receive funding from the Ohio Department of Commerce. OSU Extension will use this grant funding to help non-custodial parents, especially fathers, gain access to financial education, counseling and economic empowerment opportunities, thereby helping them remain compliant with the orders of the court, but moreover remaining active in the lives of their children.

Studies have shown that non-custodial parents (especially fathers) who are actively involved in the lives of their children have a positive impact on the health, behavior, grades and delinquency of their children. Do you know someone (or an agency) who could benefit from getting involved? Please contact us. For details, call Susan Colbert at (614) 247-1983.

(Submitted by Susan Colbert, Program Director, Franklin County Expansion and Engagement)