The Importance of Mentorship

What is the role of a mentor? Why is mentorship so important? These are just a couple of the questions I have found myself asking over the past two years.  I have had the privilege of serving as a mentor in a variety of places these past 2 years and at each location, my role as a mentor appears somewhat different, but there are always a few commonalities: encouragement, motivation, and passion.  A mentor may appear as a tutor, coach, friend, or just a college student.

I have had experiences working with students in schools, after-school programs, and within maximum-security facilities. Too many of these students are not able to identify a positive role model or mentor in their lives. For example, only 2 young men on a high school football team claimed to have a mentor they looked up to.  I have found myself asking how is it that these youth are surrounded my so many adults: parents, teachers, coaches, officers, etc. and yet they cannot seem to name one person they identify as a mentor. Then I take a step back and watch and/or listen to their surroundings and it becomes clearer.  Parent’s claim it’s not their job to help with homework, “that’s the teachers’ job.” Strike one. The student then hears from some teachers/coaches that “you’re a loser, stupid, won’t make it college” etc.  Strike two.

It may seem unfathomable that these youth are receiving these messages and we all think, “well these teachers, coaches and officers are all here because they are passionate about their jobs and love what they do.” The unsettling reality is that many of them are there just because “it pays the bills” or they “needed something for now, since my last job laid everyone off.” We are failing our kids by not giving them accredited, adequate, and passionate teachers and staff they deserve. So many of our youth are not receiving encouragement or support at home or in the classroom.  Many of them also do not know anyone in college let alone a doctor, lawyer, architect or anyone with an attractive or admirable career.

That is where we come in. A mentor does not need to be an expert in any one particular area to have a positive effect on a child’s life. What we do need to have is an encouraging word, a smile, and a positive role model.  It takes time for kids to open up to you, to believe and trust that you believe in them and for them to actually listen and consider what you have to say. But the feeling you have when they call you to invite you to their graduation, tell you about their plans for college or, thank you for helping them get an A on their test, that feeling is indescribable.

While it is an inexpressible feeling to see my kids succeed and strive for their best, one of the harsher realities that I have had to face is that we cannot simply change our kids.  They have to want to make better choices.  They have to want to succeed.   And most importantly, they have to believe in themselves that they can be more than what they have been told.  It is not by any means easy to not take it personally when a child just doesn’t do his/her homework, doesn’t want to go to college, or when s/he falls back into old ways and ends up in even more trouble.  What we must never do is to give up on them. No matter how deep in despair they get, we can only continue to try to be the little angel on their shoulder, speaking positivity and encouragement to them.

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